I feel like I should write something here…I haven’t written in a week, and that’s largely because I’ve not had the energy or time to do so. However, I’m cutting back on hours at my job, meaning I’ll now have five complete days to work on homework (and lectures, and other things) instead of four.
What happened is that I became so exhausted from the increase in work after Labor Day (Sept. 4th) that Thursday (the 7th?) and Sunday (the 10th?) were spent largely asleep — and that left me with two days (or 48 hours) to do a week’s worth of work for three classes.
Last night, I was up very late to get a number of assignments done by their deadlines. I do have accommodations, but I prefer not to use them if I don’t have to.
So today, you know, I was catching up on work and found myself falling asleep towards the end of a lecture. Actually, as I’m writing this, I’ve woken up from the second time I’ve fallen asleep, today (I had to take medication and brush my teeth, at least) — if you don’t count falling asleep around 3 AM last night to be “today.” I then fell asleep once before dinner, and once after dinner.
On the bright side, I’m nearly caught up with everything. I did realize, however, that I had been neglecting my Archives class…there weren’t a lot of deliverables there, so I worked on what I needed to turn in. Accordingly, I think I missed an Archives lecture (I’m missing notes on it) — but I can deal with that.
I think the biggest takeaway from this is that I do need quiet study time, without the distraction of the TV or family. I have been largely able to avoid playing around on the computer — this is because I know I only have so long I can sit here and not get spine issues.
Also…I seem to be settling around what I’ll do with my spare time…though it hasn’t panned out yet, because I haven’t had much spare time (other than time used for sleeping).
I’ve realized that I can create my own clothes, for one thing. I feel relatively motivated on that level, because I’ve realized that I can do the same thing for my wardrobe as I’ve done with my jewelry: make a bunch of customized stuff that I wouldn’t feel bad wearing.
As I wrote elsewhere…creativity may be my way out of the gender dilemma I’m facing. I don’t, that is, have to rely on store-bought clothing and jewelry which doesn’t get across who I am. And sewing — hand sewing, at least — does seem to calm me.
Then there is the fact that I still want to learn Japanese language. I found a number of books on this which look fairly awesome — and I’ve realized that reading things in romaji (Roman letters), although it doesn’t help with character memorization, allows me to recognize words faster. If I see something written in romaji, that is, I can easily tell if I comprehend the sentence or not (and most basic-level sentences, I do comprehend). This recognition isn’t there when reading kana and kanji, though it is nice that the kanji give the meaning of the word — though they don’t tell you how the word is spoken.
And then there is graphic design research…making things, you know? At this point I’m unsure if I want to go into Web Design (though that honestly looks awesome — except for the pay scale) or become an Adult Services Librarian with a tech component — say, in Virtual Services. I have both paths open to me, now. If I take the set of classes I’m thinking of, I could only have three more semesters of substantive work ahead of me, including Summer. The semester after that would be devoted to Culminating Experience, and then I would be done. There is a complicating factor here, of finances: I will need to talk to people about that. Actually, I should approach counseling on three fronts: Academic, Voc Rehab, and Financial Aid.
As for the Art practice: that’s pretty much just not happening, though I have an idea as to why, now.
I think my cognizance is burning out. I should go back to bed.