Dark ‘kin, mythology, and pop culture

So yes, I did see the last episode of Dragon Ball Super, and yes, I did start to do research on it. Apparently there’s an end-date for the series (though a movie is planned for later)…and things are about to get fairly serious in the show.

Whereas earlier, it seemed like the writers were just playing around…the present arc with Mirai (Future) Trunks is looking as though it isn’t going to turn out well. I haven’t read all the spoilers, though, and I don’t know exactly when the series is set to end.

I am not entirely sure why the last episode had such an effect on me, except for the fact that Goku Black is an extremely twisted character, especially if you know a bit about Asian philosophy and religion. That, in turn, recalls my time in Otherkin groups…

(AAH! I said it! Finally! Watch me fight a tide of new incoming spam!)

…and it’s also recalling the freakin’ Political Advocacy course I’m in, at the moment, where it’s been shared that barely anyone wholeheartedly thinks of themselves as a bully or terrible person, even though they may be seen that way by others.

So anyway, on the radar tonight, I had to deal with extended family (which is itself a bit demented, though I’m not going to get into it) and with a session where we dealt with what to do about the portfolio option for graduation. I feel better, now that I attended.

But yeah, I can see you wondering about that Otherkin bomb I dropped. I’m wondering about it, too. (If you don’t know what “otherkin” means, it refers to people who primarily identify as something other than human. It’s sometimes distinguished from “therianthrope,” which is someone who identifies as a creature who is now or was at one time literally existent; “otherkin” includes these people and also those who see themselves in myth, and/or as possibly not literally existent, or for whom we have no proof of their literal existence.)

At this point, I’m fairly certain that the reason I even got into that subculture is because I’m a highly creative person who lacked creative outlets…which is what I’ve been trying to say in one form or another, for a while (though I haven’t been back to a ‘kin forum in a very long time; the ones I was active on, went dead several years ago. Do we want to resuscitate that…).

The major issue I’m having right now is still f***ing identifying with my Kintype, even though I know it’s an outgrowth of my own human mind, and a metaphor for what I actually am. That is, it both is and isn’t valid, at the same time.

The major problem with this is that my Kintype (that is, the type of being I identify with/see myself to be) isn’t highly respected; I tend to freak people out when I say what it is. (Unlike one of my old acquaintances who identified as something hardly anyone in this hemisphere had a definition for, I could state what it is and everyone would immediately get an idea. The ideas would just be multiple and largely off-base.) At this point, I’m not even certain I know what I’m referring to when I give someone else a reference, because we come from such different swaths of backgrounds that I don’t know that what I mean is what they think of.

But to give you an idea, I have spoken with people who had identities along the “dark” end of the spectrum, and we kind of had a little thing going. I’ve actually been more comfortable (to an extent) with them than with the general canid types or people who have seen themselves in a positive/religious light as angels (though that can get pretty dark, too — they just don’t see it as such).

And…yeah, that whole “not sharing intellectual worlds” thing is a reason why I identified as ‘kin, in the first place. For the sake of family and (multiple versions of) security, I’ve been trying to ignore it for, well, years. Granted that I’m no longer anywhere near Pagan/alternative religion circles anymore, and as such don’t have to worry about people taking me deadly seriously (no I am NOT god-kin), but still.

I actually have been giving thought to the entire Book of Enoch/Nephilim thing, although it’s outside of my own intellectual circle. That is to say, ancient Near-East beliefs are not something (anything) I’m familiar with, largely, outside of researching the Daevas, but I have been giving time to thoughts about unseen advanced beings giving humans information which we may or may not be ready to have, yet (with the balance tipped toward “not ready to have,” on a large scale). Nuclear capabilities are one of those things. At this point I’m not sure if it’s a spiritual thing or an alien thing, but it could be fun to write fiction about. 😉

Of course, it would only be fiction. I have a hard enough time discerning that fact as it is.

Those of you who were around during the online-Satanist boom of the early 2000’s, probably know what I’m referencing with the Enochian thing: at the time I left, one leader in particular (one of the more balanced, tolerant and non-mind-control ones) was of this mindset, and…I don’t know what to say about that, really, except I kinda miss her. What I don’t miss are the political views that came along with a bunch of the other people on her fora. I also don’t miss the (constant barrage of) drama. And the constant stream of people wanting to “sell their souls.” Why is your soul so cheap?

Reason I never turned Satanist is that I have no grudge against Christianity except where as a hegemonically organized voting bloc, they intrude upon my self-concept (heh heh) and human rights…and that happens to be a political/power/control thing with a glaze of religion, more than anything. Because I was never inculcated as Christian, I don’t have that specter to fight against in my own mind. Most Satanists, to my estimation, do.

Anyhow, that Goku Black thing kind of freaked me out, and I’m pretty sure it’s in relation to his trying to elicit thanatos from Trunks. “Thanatos” is…if memory serves, I think it’s a Freudian term, which translates to the “drive to death,” or the desire to die. Particularly, in this case, it was because Black had basically turned the world into a Hell and told Trunks that if he died, he could be with all the things and people he loved (not a spoiler, it’s been on already).

I’ve had to deal with this enough as a youth and adult that maybe it just tipped off something in my mind. Particularly as certain of us have decided to flush the world down the c***per because they’re mortal and selfish and thus have no reason to care about its future…

…let me get off of that…

…but it kind of makes it clear why some people don’t want to be associated with the species, yes?

Ugh. Anyway.

Anyway, it could be interesting to start studying the whole Otherkin thing, again. My major issue is that I have no exact definition for what I am, and what information there is about anyone like the term I’ve previously associated with myself, happens to be couched in negativity. The problem is that many very simple people have divided the world into “heroes,” and, “villains,” and I happen to fall toward the latter edge of that, as regards presently dominant culture.

The positive bit of this is that I’m not totally “dark,” and I’m not totally willing to play the villain. I know by now what “darkness” is, in my own lexicon; it isn’t something to aspire to, more than a place we start from. This is not referring to literal properties of absorptiveness by dark-energy beings; more than a lack of knowledge about what is and is not right, and how- and how-not-to live. (Dharma, baby.)

As I’ve said before, certain ways of being have persisted for millenia because they work. This is the point at which I am totally divorced from certain strains of Satanism (if you know, you know). Opposing things just for the sake of opposing them is closer to an illness than to a meaningful philosophy (IMHO). And there are a lot of people who do oppose things just to oppose them, regardless of what kind of havoc that wreaks in their lives or what kind of philosophical weakness that shows. I’m fairly certain these are the people I had been trying to avoid.

Of course, in the present world we don’t have to worry about some things, such as having enough children to maintain our safety, population, and way of life. So some things can be changed in light of differing conditions. My main issue here is being seen as not-of-this-world because I’m adapted to latter conditions rather than former ones. Then I start being gauged as to whether I’m good+not-of-this-world or bad+not-of-this-world, which is really not something for a human (who doesn’t understand me in the first place) to gauge.

I guess it’s something for me to gauge. But that’s tough when the closest **** thing you’ve got is Dragon Ball Super. 😉

I might want to get into reading South Asian and East Asian folktales, at that…at minimum, it will be enlightening as to why I identify so much more with stories out of Asia than stories from the U.S. And there’s the chance that I’ll actually start to understand some of the thought processes behind them…

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