FINALLY recovered that bit which was accidentally deleted…


Last night, while I was writing my last post, I realized after deleting an extra hard return in the WP posting editor that I’d inadvertently lost a paragraph.  I remembered that before, I was able to access what WP (at least, now) calls “Revisions.”  (I didn’t know the term without researching it off-site.)  The thing is, you can’t get to this screen without going to the Dashboard, first.

If you would like to access Revisions, here’s how I did it:

From the “My Sites” screen, which is the familiar blue one with the intense blue border on the top — I was on the Stats submenu — scroll down all the way on the left until you see a link called “WP Admin”, with an arrow coming out of a square, next to it.  Clicking on this will launch the older, grey WP Dash.

From there, click on “Posts” on the submenu on the left.  Go into the Edit screen for the post you want to see alternate versions of.  At the bottom of the screen, you should see all the “Revisions” which WP has for you, which are basically time-coded multiple versions of your post — which, hopefully, include what you may have accidentally edited out, without knowing.  Clicking on a timestamp will bring up a screen of your post as it was at said time.

This is the paragraph which disappeared on me:

And so it goes; as she relates her story of woe and pain and anguish, she realizes that she has written and said these words many times before.  There are so many other possibilities, though, of stories to tell.

It’s not much, and maybe the post is stronger without it; but it was bothering me to have lost it, all last night.

Once again, that is:

WP Dash -> Posts -> Edit Post -> Revisions


Realizing why my Stats dropped to almost nil…

Really.  Note for the future:  if I’m going to blog about mature content or post figure studies including people without clothing, I need to blog about it on a separate blog linked to this one, and set the Discussion Rating to R there.

I just realized tonight that the reason my blog traffic had dropped to almost nil (aside from those who were already following me, who I didn’t see show up in my Stats) was that I had written a mature content post, set my Discussion Rating to R, and subsequently had my blog excluded from the Reader (though I could still see it there, for some reason).

So, the mature content post is now down, and I don’t really think I have anything else objectionable, here.  Whether I’ll spend some time writing about the drawing I just turned in is questionable, given that I only have one more day to work on my Expressive Portrait, and have to go to school in the morning.


“Trials in Language & Communications” is now “Exploring the Magic that Is the Right Brain”.

Just wanted to make it clear for those who are looking at this on their reader and going, “what is that blog?”  I’ve also changed the format, but it is still the same Theme.  The infinitely-scrolling screen was getting to me.  🙂 I should be able to update this more in the coming days.

Trying to consider what of my life to share…

I think I’ve reached a relatively good point here with this blog, though I am…in the midst of questioning what it is I want to make public, and what my goals are, in regard to it.  I’m finding that a lot of the people following me are poets, which…I really never suspected would happen.  It’s not a bad thing, but I’m thinking maybe the title of this blog has become a bit misleading, seeing how my content has evolved.

In the beginning, I set up this blog as an online space to help me log my thoughts (so I wouldn’t forget) and to have a concentrated place to try and work out what I wanted to do with my life, careerwise.  Over time, though, it’s become more of a place to log my progress in my Art classes.  I’ve just seemed to settle on Art as something, besides Writing, that I really like to do.  Even though both of those things tend to scare me, for some reason (which, I just recalled, I should consult about with a specific person, if not more than one).

There’s nothing wrong with liking Art, it’s just a lot more work when it comes to posting images (I can’t yet program a macro to process everything for me; I’m doing it all manually).  This has paid off in readership, however; there are more people “Liking” posts here since I did begin to post my photos.  This is as versus when I had a text-only blog.  Generally I’ve found that many people will read and “Like” shorter posts more often than the three-page things I do sometimes.  🙂  Sometimes even a single photo will get, say, seven “Likes,” in a very short period of time — much shorter than the average for something I’ve written, which may take days before it may be read.

One other reason why I set up this blog is that, before I got my current job, I did do an interview for an online company who wanted a staff writer.  They asked me for writing samples; if I had experience with Search Engine Optimization; etc.  I had to tell them at the time, that I spent more time trying *not* to be noticed, than trying to cast the widest net possible for my audience.  (Sometimes the people you net are not the ones you wanted to net.)  But that did give me the idea of working for an IT company as a writer or content developer, and I thought WordPress might be a good place to train.

Part of that training, I think, is about not posting anything I’m thinking about, at any time I’m thinking of it, just to maintain traffic.  (If I don’t post regularly, I see my readership drop.)  In this I’m recalling that post (now invisible) where I was upset at the Spanish teacher making his students dance (there’s nothing wrong with dancing — if you consent to it), and it really hit a trigger point with me because of my gender issues.  In the time since then, I’ve realized that my friendships with various Latina women and just not being a butt are higher priority than venting about something which really just touched an open wound; the circumstances around which, I can’t disclose.

But yes…I do need to lay off of pressuring myself to post daily-to-every-few-days.  I know that when I told people I wouldn’t be around as often because of my work load, my readership dropped fairly dramatically.  Because I was doing something else, yes?  Maybe they started doing other things, too?  I’m not sure.  I do suppose that I had been posting really regularly, though — I haven’t yet looked that closely at my old Stats to make sure.  It just feels like I was at this desk a lot.  And anyway, the Stats aren’t meaning much, these days.  I can get multiple “Likes” the same day as I have no recorded readership.  So I really don’t know how many people are actually reading this blog.  I know how many are subscribed, but not how many actually look.

One thing I have found, though…is that my life does get a lot richer when I’m doing things other than writing all the time.  🙂  There’s less intellectualizing happening, and more experience.  To get direction in my life, I do need the experience.  And then it helps to have a written record to look back over.  It does help if I’m not drowning in a backlog of posts.  😉

It’s just that when I’m writing, it helps to have substantive things to write about, and I won’t get that from just writing all the time.  Which…is something which wasn’t really addressed in the Creative Writing program at my University.  Most of the other English majors who are in my life now, learn from reading instead of learning from doing.  I somehow can’t see myself reading as much as they do — because reading takes energy out of me.  And that’s because I’m critically engaging with everything I read, and I never agree with any authors, besides myself, 100%.

Anyhow.  I started this post thinking of what it is or was of my life which I’d feel comfortable sharing.  At this point — I do have things to share, but I’m uncertain about releasing them to the wild.  Why?

…I suppose on some level it makes me feel unique when a gorgeous image I have is known only to me.  But wealth isn’t wealth when it’s kept hidden and cut off from the rest of the world.  At base, this links to the content of my work, and it links also to the content of my psyche.  The major issue is with this platform being public, and my knowing that my content may be misused.  Once I share it, that is, it is no longer mine alone.

The other major issue is losing anonymity.  There is nothing about my work which is anonymous.  This stuff arises from specific times, places, and subjectivities.  If you know the background, you’ll be able to know where I was, how I think, and who I am.  But that’s the specific terror of being a creator within culture.  Everything I share moves me closer to the spot where I’m known.

But my subjectivity at the same time may be what makes my work valuable, and worth engaging with, you know?  At least, that’s how I think about the contributions of others, to culture.  There is always at least one critic, but criticism — destructive criticism, let me make clear — just happens to anyone who dares to speak or make or write or sing.  Anyone.  And it’s not my job to worry about it; but I see it happening all the time.

On the other hand.  Like I was telling my supervisor the other day…as time goes on I get tougher and stronger.  I like that.  It’s just the rubbing to build up that callus that is the annoyance…

Theme switch?

I’ve realized that I seem to either need a Theme that can handle Excerpts, or I need to concisely get the point of my post across in the first two sentences.  I did just update my Theme — an accident I decided to keep — but I need to see what the capabilities of this thing are, before I decide to hold onto it or not.

I switched to Minnow, as my posts tend to be text-heavy, and long tracts work well with this Theme.  I’ve not seen what I can do with this when it comes to images, but at least the interface isn’t destroyed when there’s a picture there.

I’ll put the rest of this in a different post.

First post…kind of rambly.

It’s been a few days since I set this blog up.  In that time, a few things have happened, though none of it really gives me a clear view as to where my interests really lie.  Plus, only some of it is suitable for public consumption…

I’m set up to go back to community college classes in Fall; I have Summer off.  The past couple of weeks have been pretty intense.  The financial aid application and Master’s application for the Library program have been set in motion, but more and more I’m coming to see that working in a public library is an instructional/management/customer service occupation.  This is not really where I want to be.  I mean, I’m not a social person, and library work in the higher ranks would require me to be social for at least a good chunk of my time…if I worked in a Public Library.

My main competitor to this is Web Design.  The training would cost a lot less, it would probably be easier (at least at this stage), and it would put me into the tech field and away from the general public.  It’s also a lot more lucrative than Library Science, but a lot less certain.

I am set up to take Intermediate Drawing, come Fall.  This is majorly so that I can see if I actually still like drawing, and start to draw what I want to draw instead of still-lifes, all the time.  Still-lifes are good for skill building, but it’s like those oil paintings of bowls of fruit — what is that saying, really, or is it just for practice or to show off skill?  There’s a difference to me between skill and creativity; I think that to be a good artist, a person has to have both.  It’s hard to have both when you haven’t done the hard work, but at the same time, the hard work does not guarantee the inspiration.

I’m very close to a stage-one certificate in Animation…what’s keeping me out is the fact that I am not certain of the possibilities of the field, and I’m not certain where or with whom I’d work.  But I suppose that’s always the case.

I’m also not certain if I still love to draw as much as I did when I was younger, and am just stuck in a rut of “what I can draw well.”  Which, you know, gets boring, and when it gets boring I move on to other things.  I’ve thought of using my time during Summer to attempt to challenge myself with trying new things (hopefully things that can contribute to earning money — I don’t know why making tatted doilies came up at all, other than that it was challenging), and learn about these different career paths.

We actually were cleaning out some of the art + craft shelves at my home the other night, and I found my giant pads of paper with drawings still in them, and a lot of blank pages!  😀  What is most difficult for me is trying to figure out what to draw…if I were an Animator, this would become more clear to me.  At least I’d have a set of guiding principles to attempt to express in images.  It kind of runs backward from the way I normally carry out my art (I usually draw first and look for meaning later — could be why it’s hard for me to begin), but I think that drawing to an intended end could be a good exercise for me, at least.

I’m thinking that if I still like Drawing, I could take Web Design classes and augment them with Graphic Arts and Fine Arts classes.  Drawing is really very fundamental as a medium of communication.  I’ve taken two semesters of it, and at the end of the last session (2010?) we were just beginning to break into color.  I’d like to use color a lot more!  On my craft blog, I’ve spoken about what a large motivator color and color dynamics are to me.  It would seem, then, that painting would be something I’d get into?  Watercolor, I’ve very much wanted to try; I’ve just been daunted by the extremely precise-seeming nature of it.  Acrylic…I’ve made some attempts with, but not very many.  Oil paints, I’ve never used; though I do recall there are now water-soluble oil formulations, meaning no turpentine or mineral spirits.  I’ve seen the effects of toxicity from fumes associated with oil painting…something I’d like to avoid.

Then there is this thing which happened within the last few years in my State…apparently there was a crackdown and suddenly everything was labeled as possibly containing cadmium.  I’m not entirely sure what that was about or if it’s still in effect.  What I’m guessing is that everything that might have had some cadmium in it, maybe, or which had not been tested, might have gotten the *toxic!* label.  I really don’t know, and have been intending to research it.  What I do know, I’ve heard from art store employees, some of whom were also art school students.  I think it’s worth looking into, even though the scare may be over.  It’s been a while since I’ve been into an art store to look at the pastels and chalks.

But anyhow, what happened to jump me onto that cadmium track was the fact that a lot of the pastels picked up the warning.  I really do like to work with pastels; but the way they stain my hands and get everywhere is a bit of a cause for concern, to me.  Not like I don’t like it — I feel like, you know, an official artist when the blue-green won’t come out of my fingertips — but I know I’m absorbing the majority of that color…and I know art supplies aren’t known for being healthy.  😉  And then there is the fixative thing and how spray fixative isn’t really good for you to breathe, but the alternative is hairspray; and without it your pastel painting will probably be messed up; and with it, your colors may be altered; so go out in the garage with your organics + particulates respirator (I actually have one of these now, I think) and spray or use Aqua Net, etc.

But as someone who hasn’t often used paint, pastels are a stepping stone into it, it seems.

And toxic compounds can actually have really good working properties, even though they’re unhealthy.  I’m thinking of a certain brand of xylene-based markers which blend beautifully but fume to high heaven.  I literally cannot make myself get marker lines when I use these on marker paper — they’re that good.  But the xylene is cause for concern.  The formulation has been altered to make them a bit less bad for you, but still.  The headache one gets when using them in an unventilated space…and tales of solvent-sniffing teenagers, don’t help.  :/

I’d been set up to take a Computer Science course in Fall, but am planning on dropping it.  I tend to take on too much and then have to bail 1/3 of the way through the semester and run and catch up for the last 2/3.  Not fantastic.  The Comp Sci course also puts me close to half-time on its own, so getting rid of it will free up a lot of hours.  The only reason I’m keeping it for now is that I want to see the syllabus.  A short paragraph in the catalog is not enough to tell me what the class covers.

Anyhow…I realize that both Graphic Arts and Web Design are obviously computer-based, at this time.  It’s just that for me, it’s more intuitive to be able to draw things out in gigantic hard copy and then transfer over those brainstorms into the computer.  I’m not quite a digital native; I grew up during a time when we still hand-wrote our final essays in pen!  So…quite.

If I look at my academic history, as well…I mean, just from memory…it looks like I actually am more of an arts — or, specifically — a creative/communications person.  And I’ve realized that Graphic Design is basically visual communications.  It’s just that, maybe, you’ve got to know what you’re willing to help communicate.  Or, maybe that is an artificial barrier that I’m erecting so that I don’t take this route.

I do have a book here that I bought a while back called How to be a Graphic Designer Without Losing Your Soul, which may be very instructive at this time.  Now, at least, that I’ve gotten out of the Marketing class.  Seriously.  Seriously disliked that class.  But it’s useful to know why what decisions are made when…when it isn’t all in the marketer’s head, that is…