Whoa! Unanticipated!

I’m actually done with my Term Paper! I’m done with this semester! I’m done with my Master’s! And a nearby County is hiring for Librarian I positions!

!!!…

Okay, for one thing I don’t think it’s set in yet that I’M ACTUALLY DONE and I ACTUALLY QUALIFY. The other thing is that I’ve kind of got a rush because OMG IT’S DONE. I CAN BE A LIBRARIAN NOW.

I mean, seriously, a couple of hours ago my biggest plan was to clean the house, tomorrow.

Of course, having the Master’s is only one component of the work. I also need experience, meaning I may need to take on jobs that aren’t particularly ideal (especially as I am not sure how well I would do at conducting programs, in a Public Library position), in order to move up in the system.

But ooh, sh…I just realized that I have most of the qualifications to be an Academic Librarian. Which may be where I would be most comfortable…considering my study over this last semester.

If I can get a better job, as well (say, an entry-level University job)…I’m seriously considering taking one class a semester for both Professional Development and to maintain access to my University Library.

Do I have a plan? It’s certainly looking like it…



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The anxiety’s easing, a little bit.

I think the only thing I’m really going to have to watch out for is devoting too much time to Collection Development, over my Culminating Experience requirement. That, and not getting sick. Today I spent a little time outside, picking up more food and, incidentally, highlighters. (I get tired of having to look for one that isn’t 15 years old.)

Yesterday, I was able to complete most of one new section (F) to my project. I’m still not halfway done, but it’s comforting to know that it doesn’t take me forever to get one of these, completed. The day before that, I completed and submitted Section E. I likely would have gotten more done last night if I hadn’t been tearing through my archives, looking for evidence (while I had the motivation and nerve to do so). I wanted to deal with finishing Section F more today, but I had to turn in an assignment for Collection Development. Two points. (And…I wanted more trail mix.)

I just would hate not to turn in anything, especially as I lost three points for not following standard format in my last paper. That narrows the gap as to what I can avoid turning in. But of course, it probably doesn’t matter, so long as I don’t get a D or F in this class (I’m uncertain whether that would cause graduation to fall into jeopardy, though I’m presently in good standing).

Good news: I’m now caught up for the weekly turnover, and the Marketing assignment is coming up shortly. I should be able to use this for my incomplete Section D, and then move on from there. Once Sections D and F are turned in, I’ll be over halfway done.

Section D is going to be kind of a pain, though. I was an editor for the major class I’ll be using for evidence in that section…which was needed, because we wrote about 80 pages in our final drafts for that class, combined.

Right now I’ve got approximately eight sections to work on and approximately two weeks before Halloween, which is my soft deadline to get rough drafts of all these sections turned in. After seeing what happened with my first few drafts, though (in which none were reviewed until I fixed the first one I submitted), I may want to take my time on them as versus turning in, “just anything.”

The final due date is in mid-November. I have five weeks. 35 days. But I want to do my best to get all this turned in, in two. 14 days. Hopefully, this will allow me a little bit of extra time, to edit anything that needs work, to fill any gaps which may exist, and to complete incidentals like my Introduction. I’m getting confident with the format, though.

Seriously, the sooner I get this turned in, the sooner I can relax.

Adjusting

Yesterday I finished the majority of work to be done before early next week, for Collection Development. Today, I updated everything I could think to update, in lieu of working further on homework and my project.

I also went out to the produce market and retrieved a bunch of stuff which will be nourishing for me to eat, while I study. I did get some time off of work (a benefit of being part-time), to be adjusted after I get my project turned in.

I also took a shower and washed my hair…and slept. I probably shouldn’t be up now, but I didn’t wake up until 7:30 PM, or something. (I guess D did tell me I’d fall asleep in the recliner, though at least I had the presence of mind to go to bed. I thought to look for that crochet blanket I’d been working on, but was too tired to think of where it might be, and dig it out.) I’ve been trying not to get sick, which is why I’ve been letting myself sleep so much.

Tomorrow is another appointment, which in addition to the appointment I had today and the training day I had earlier this week…kind of explains why I felt pushed to reduce my hours at work.

I have 20 pages to go before the end of Chapter 5. I found that one of my Professors likely hadn’t reviewed my more recent work because I hadn’t updated my first page with her suggested edits; so now that I know this, I should be able to get my stuff reviewed more quickly.

And I am feeling anxiety about this, but I’m probably going to feel it until it’s out of the way and done. It’s better now that I have three pages approved…I didn’t know if I was doing things correctly. But apparently, it’s good enough to pass.

Just, tomorrow…I need to take in a list of questions to my doctor. I may also want to take another shower. Aside from that, the day should be free to work on either chapter reading, or my culminating experience project.

I kind of feel like the latter needs my attention, more…if I fail Collection Development, I just get an F. If I fail my ePortfolio…that’s one shot down. I have two chances. If I waste them both, I won’t graduate — which is obviously much more important than a class that I don’t totally need.

Yeah; it’ll be better to work on the ePort than read. I’ll just read if I can’t think straight…because the thing due this week is only a two-point assignment. Priorities, right?

Straightening out my thoughts.

Okay, I’m going to take some time to write, now. Today…well, today…what happened? Shopping, mostly. I did pick up some good things to eat, which is positive. I also tried some French Brie, today. Usually, Brie is a bit strong for me, and textured like compacted dehydrated tofu, but this is creamier and milder. I like it! We also got some pears, and organic grapes, so this is going to be good. 🙂

I was also able to do some reading. I understand now why the reading is given over a week, which makes sense given the density of this chapter.

No work done on the ePortfolio, today. At least — yet. (It’s 9:30 PM right now, though I have work tomorrow, so I shouldn’t stay up until 2 AM, like I can.) I’m hoping I won’t need to drop Collection Management later on, in order to get this done. What I have realized, though, is that it’s possible to draft the majority of a Competency essay in one day. Filling in the gaps is something else, as is tracking down evidence, but the latter isn’t hard. The former is what may require extra work.

I’m aiming to get a first draft of all my essays done, by Halloween. (After that, I have roughly 20 days to edit anything remaining.) Today was the 40th day before Halloween. I have 39 remaining. If I can’t think of anything to do, I should read over some of the ePortfolio examples. I think it would diminish apprehensiveness, and keep me from wasting time.

Just yesterday, I was out taking care of some mental health stuff. I did raise the alert about my last remaining major psychological issue, which I’m working on now. I just hope it doesn’t take up too much of my mental space, when I need my mental space for these next 39 days.

But I can do this, right?

I’ve also gotten the idea to write a biography. I probably, should. In my writings elsewhere, I essentially began this. Maybe I’m feeling pressed for time because I spent two days, basically, drafting this.

That’s probable.

There’s that, and the sleep hygiene thing, where I stayed up late Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and crashed on Thursday. And the Saturday and Sunday prior, I was drafting the narrative. Meaning…what was I doing on the Thursday and Friday prior?

Looks like I was blogging and getting over being sick. That sounds about right! And the week prior to that (Wednesday to Wednesday), I was wiped out with a cold. Less than a week before then, our visitor left.

So it’s not as bad as it looks. What I need to be okay about is not starting new activities to distract myself from working on my ePortfolio and my work in Collection Development. The biographical writing and the blogging on art and gender are the two things that I have done that I haven’t absolutely needed to do, though both have been constructive, even if disruptive.

I suppose I can’t block life out all the way, can I?

And I can deal with it if I have to turn in my interview late (or not at all). I’m already in an Honors Society and I’m in my last semester of classes. A “C” won’t ruin me.

How in the world can I say that? 🙂

Resting, uneasily

All right, so this is basically, epically, procrastination. (Epic.) I’m still sick, but seem to be getting better. The drawback to this is that I feel like I’ve gotten almost nothing done in the past 5 days, while I’ve been sick. Though…it feels like more than a week.

Of course, I know that it isn’t quite true that I’ve gotten nothing done — I’ve sat through a lecture, done 3.5 out of 4 readings, and have been mentally preparing to do the activity due tomorrow night (!), which I’ll probably be late on. But I’ve called my Professor. (It seems like Collection Development is a class we’re seriously expected to commit at least four hours of work to, per week. Not every Professor holds to that guideline, but some do.)

In the meantime, I’m still not sure if my form has yet reached my University (it will be two weeks in the mail system, if it hasn’t), I’ve called in a counselor to try and get that information to them an alternate way…and I still need to work on my ePortfolio. I feel like not much has moved forward on that last bit, but that’s because I was just collecting evidence for several Competencies instead of writing out the essays for them.

I’ve got to remember that not everything has to be as thorough/excellent as my first and easiest Competency to fulfill (which was on diversity).

And…now, I’m getting tired, again. Amazingly.

Maybe going over my archives with my eyeballs glazed over will be easier than writing…

I just opened up another tab to do something and promptly forgot why I did it. (Ah — right. I was checking to see when the last day to drop Collection Development was. I can only do so if I get a “W” grade, at this point.)

Maybe I should just try and rest…

Or, if I feel the need to read my own work: go back over my archives and start sorting things. Just…it won’t likely be useful to read, here, for a bit…

I also am concerned about not being well enough for work on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I guess I’ve got another day of healing before I have to think about that (and if I am well enough for work, how much energy will I have after it???)…

Some ePort work done…

I’m actually feeling pretty good, today, after getting comments and a Passing grade back on my first ePortfolio segment!

Today, I’ve been doing what I intended to do yesterday. I’ve been reading through and polishing old assignments from 2012. Pretty soon, I should have Competencies A-C fulfilled, and won’t have to depend so much on material I completed six years ago!

Really, what got me out of bed (besides the fact that I realized I was on the fast track to, “not graduating,” and letting the past three years be a waste of time, effort, support, and money, if I let anxiety and frustration at internal politics take over) were two conditions. The first condition is that both my parents were studying their own stuff — meaning that the TV was off and things were quiet. The second condition was that I got a Passing grade back on my Comp C submission, meaning that I was doing things all right and could move forward with the other pages.

This…has made me feel better than sewing would have. I did, however, rest before beginning. Sometimes I’m just not ready to dive in, you know? I wasn’t ready to deal with this immediately after waking up; I needed about two hours to gather myself. Maybe tomorrow I can take this into account and do something not requiring heavy thought right after waking. (Maybe knitting? Or reading.) Then two hours after I’ve woken, I can start working on the ePortfolio, or on my Collection Development homework?

I still need to revise my Chapter 1 submission for Collection Development to “prove” that I read it, though I’m thinking that in a Master’s program, I shouldn’t have to…

I’m also thinking about re-taking Cataloging and Classification if I do get the Master’s, though I’ll have to do it on my own. But how could it be worse than taking it the first time around through a digital interface?

Probably this is enough time spent on this posting, for now. I can get back to work. 🙂