Re-entering acrylic painting

I did start on a painting in acrylics, today. It’s a small (4″x6″ canvas board) work, very much in its natal stages, but it’s something. In the process I started playing around with mixing (canvas pads are handy), as I had a couple of ideas as to where to go, color-wise, but needed to work out whether or not my choices would be feasible.

One thing I can say: Cerulean plus Phthalo Blue make a really nice blue base to work from, together. I didn’t print out a color version of the photo I’m working from…I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, frankly! I may be edging more blue-green and red-orange than the original photo, but then, I don’t have to make it like the photo.

I might try redrawing the original photo in my art journal in a number of different compositions, to see what is working in that photo that I like, and what’s unnecessary. I have already started this, in a way, by redrawing the image on the canvas board. I have wanted to do this by just marking out areas of color with brush pens, and then seeing where that leaves the composition.

(There is another use for that Marker paper I was talking about!)

The image I’m working from (in this case) is below. I do have a good number of these little canvas boards (they were sold in a 5-pack), so I have room to experiment.

orange bell-shaped flowers on green stems with a bud
I’m pretty sure I took this photo at a Garden Center.

As it was, tonight, I started out by drawing from a grid, then gessoed over that, then painted over that. My lines are fast disappearing, though I have a tendency to use even heavy-body acrylic paints like watercolors. So I have a couple of thin layers of gesso and paint, on top of the underdrawing. (If I had thought to do so, it might have been better to make an underpainting with pastel, seal it with Glazing Medium, then work on top of that, instead of using pencil for outlines — which, in practicality, doesn’t tell me much.)

Watercolor-like use of the paint isn’t intentional, on my part. If I continue to do it, I should probably use Glazing Medium so that the paint doesn’t just come off. I’ve never had it happen (aside from when one of my instructors scrubbed through my paint film), but I’ve been told it can happen.

flowers in greyscaleNow that I see this photo again — maybe I should print it in color. It will, at least, tell me what tones are where, and the color and value juxtapositions make up a large part of what I find appealing, I think. Plus, without color, it’s hard to tell leaves apart from flowers, since they’re both near the same values (“value”=the lightness or darkness of a color or tone, as if the image were a black-and-white Xerox copy).

I have come to the place where I’m fairly certain that I want to work with abstraction, now or in the future, but I’m not sure about how to do it. I do have one book which may help me (Abstract Art Painting: Expressions in Mixed Media), which I suppose is a start: but I can’t let it be an end.

And yes, I am looking at this image and realizing that I can likely add some color information and make it into a duochrome (instead of monochrome) image…I just don’t know exactly how I would do that, yet, or if my version of Photoshop supports that capability.

I can see that the juxtaposition of areas of high and low value at the top (and minorly, bottom right) of the image make it stronger. I love the orange against the yellow-green tones, and how that makes the blossoms step forward. I also love the diagonal alignment of the orange flowers, and the globular forms created by the converging petals. I’m not really crazy about the green bud in the center (I think my camera must have insisted on making that the focal point), but I have noted that I like to paint living flowers, as versus cut or silk ones. The diagonal alignments of the stems move the eye around the page…

…and I think that’s a good start as to what draws me to this photo.

There has been other stuff that happened today, but I’m just now realizing that it’s nearly 12:45 AM, and I should be getting some rest (I’ve been trying to keep my immunity up!).

I should note, though, in closing: tonight, I realized that acrylic paints are very up to the task, if I want to work abstractly. I think I just have to be brave enough to do it. The worst that can happen is that I get a painting (more likely, paintings) that I don’t like…but I have to go through those to learn how to make the ones that I do like.

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Art: portability? Catching small bits of time

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything here; this is largely because I keep sitting down and reminding myself that maybe there are more pressing things to do, than write about things I haven’t yet thought out — and then actually going to look for those things, instead of just assuming they don’t exist, or that I’ll get to them, later.

Or I look at the WordPress text-editing screen and know that I could be making art, or exercising, or cooking, or studying my own extracurricular stuff (Japanese language), instead of writing incessantly about things I haven’t had the time to experience, to relate to readers via my writing. (It’s not this way anymore, but I have a history of being a compulsive writer [partially because of poor self-awareness in my younger years].)

However, I just finished sitting through two hours of backed-up lectures. I have three weeks left of school, and final projects in all of my classes. And I had to miss work in order to turn two other projects in, this week. Yes, even though Saturday was Veteran’s Day, and I didn’t go to work then, either.

And I have two other writing assignments due before the weekend is over (both for the same class). I also need to review material for the final project in that same class (again) before Monday afternoon. Then, I’m pretty sure that by Tuesday, I have to get my Web Design assignment in. In addition, I should at least outline a site redesign for my Final in Web Usability.

On top of that, right now it’s almost midnight where I’m at, and I actually do have to get up, tomorrow. And it’s probably going to be pretty backed up at work, because I wasn’t able to go in earlier this week. But at this point, considering some of the dreams I’ve been having around my job (including being terrorized by people who won’t stay out of the library when it’s closed, in the last case), it would actually be a relief just to shelve all day.

(Of course, though, the dream I put in parentheses probably refers more to boundary-crossing or outright aggression [boundary-ignoring] than it has to do with the location of where the dream took place.)

Anyhow, that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about, but you can see I’m preoccupied. What I was actually thinking about…was the portability of markers and the possibility of using them during my lunch break at work, tomorrow. This is in addition to the use of color as a valid place from which to launch into drawing, and the fact that because I work at a place where both the utility and break sink need to be food-safe, I can’t take in my normal paints. And I’m not rinsing out my watercolor brushes next to the toilet.

I then have three options if I want to deal with intense coloring: one, a waterbrush plus aquarelles (Supracolors or Neocolor IIs). Two, markers (including waterproof fineliners and water-soluble and permanent brush markers) and possibly a waterbrush. Three, the non-toxic cheap watercolor pans (Prangs), and a waterbrush (though these won’t get a chance to dry, decently — and I’m worried about attracting insects, or growing microbial cultures, because of this).

I’m seeing a theme. I really pretty much hate the tip on my large waterbrush, though. But the alternative is to take in a cup to rinse a good brush in…and an actual decent brush…and then let the brush air out so it doesn’t expand from water exposure and fall apart. Putting a damp quality brush in a locker for hours, even in a case, just doesn’t sound like a good idea in any way.

Which leads me back to markers. I think I can work with dry media. It’s a lot less expensive, anyway; even though the sheer volume of what I’ll have to carry is much larger. (Oh, wait. Lest I mislead someone who doesn’t know how much markers can go for…watercolors are likely cheaper in the long run. But the paper used for painting with watercolor, isn’t.)

In those two hours of lectures I sat through, I started doodling in my notes (I’m not going to get into how I got that distracted; my professors know who I am). I just realized that 1) I was experimenting with layering transparent inks to make new colors (yellow with blue, red with violet), 2) what I made could very well be translated into a duochrome block print, and 3) the art thing doesn’t have to be hard.

I’m learning that most things don’t have to be hard, though…

What I was messing around with tonight, were clover and maple leaves (a bright red gel pen helps with the latter!). It seems like everyone has a “thing” that they really love to do, in the art world; I’m fairly certain that my “thing” is plants and flowers.

And with that, it’s almost 1 AM now. This looks like a good stopping point.

(Yes, I do know that I could just work on my school readings at work…but stopping work in order to do a different kind of work, somehow strikes me as getting rid of the reason to have a break in the first place…)

Painting allows tighter color control than beadwork…

End of an era?

Tomorrow is the final session of one of the two annual bead shows I’ve attended. Although I did get today off of work (surprise!), and I did get one homework assignment done (surprise?), I still feel behind enough so that I don’t want to spend my time tomorrow buying beads…which I won’t, then, have the time to use.

I was initially drawn to beadwork because of being able to play with color combinations; unfortunately, though, the “consumerism” aspect of beadwork seems to have heightened recently, which is a bit of a turnoff. Even though there are a lot of really interesting new beads being put out right now (particularly two- and three-hole beads), there are some shapes I’m drawn to (much) more than others; and most of the places to buy beads, in general, have migrated to online format.

Growing up.

I also am feeling time pressures which weren’t there when I was stably working an 18-hour week and going to the Art program at a local Community College…grad school is much more intense than that. I’m kind of wondering if it’s going to be like this for the rest of my foreseeable life, you know: with a 40-hour work week?

For tomorrow, I have at least two readings to do (one of which is in-progress), a response post, something to listen to, a slew of forum responses (which I’m supposed to be moderating) and some group work; not to mention my weekly Web Design homework. It’s just…not looking pretty.

Not to mention that I still haven’t set a firm dividing line as to whether my Web Design Final project will be based on color dynamics; or Buddhism’s focus on impermanence, as applied to archives (and living/surviving in general).

The former is dependent on good daytime light quality for photos; the latter should be heavily based on introspection and study (ideally, also, meditation; but I get impatient, meditating. The problem is that it’s hard to grapple with existential topics and Buddhist concepts without being destabilized to the point of needing meditation).

But if I look at it, I’m not sure either of those topics are really well thought-out: I was kind of broadsided with the request for topics, because I hadn’t read ahead. I know the Buddhist topic will calm me, and I’ve had to pare down the content of the color dynamics outline so much that it no longer appears “fun.”

Most of the rest of this is a tangent where I’m exploring what content I might use with my Web Design project, re: Color Dynamics.

Add to the latter that I’m translating painter’s color (subtractive color) into digital photography (additive color) and then showing it in additive color.  It would be much simpler if I were working with an RGB (Red, Green, Blue: the colors that are projected from most computer monitors) color gamut, but I don’t entirely understand that model yet.

I’m not even working with CMYK (Printer’s colors: Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, black [Key]) either; I’m working from a split-primary model…which will probably go over most of my reader’s heads, so I guess I should define it.

intense violet, orange, and green tones, bordered by the tones used to make them, and set in a hexagonal arrangement.

Basically, if you’re looking to make brilliant tones from which to mix all other colors (including muted colors and chromatic greys [greys with a hint of color]), there are two factors to take into consideration: masstone and overtone. Masstone is something which I don’t think was ever explained to me, but essentially I believe this is the basic color which is reflected. It’s not always easy to parse, especially with non-prismatic colors.

Prismatic colors…are bright, pure, vibrant colors, such as one would see from the rainbow projected by a prism. (The above color wheel was painted entirely in gouache, a.k.a. opaque watercolor, on cold-press watercolor paper.)

So, say, on the far left of the image above, those two colors both have a blue masstone. But they have different overtones. The upper blue is “Ultramarine Deep,” and has a violet overtone. The lower blue is “Intense Blue” (Phthalocyanine Blue), with a green overtone. It’s very subtle, especially in this photo: the Phthalo Blue was kind of shading itself, and I had applied it very intensely.

Ultramarine Deep mixed with Hansa Yellow Deep makes a dull olive green.

However, try mixing that shade of green with Hansa Yellow Deep (the dark, orange-leaning yellow just below the intense orange on the right) plus Ultramarine Deep. It turns into a dirty-olive mix, because you’re mixing a violet overtone with yellow, and an orange overtone with blue: violet and yellow are complementary colors, just as are orange and blue (they are across from each other on the color wheel, roughly reproduced in the first photo) and cancel each other out when mixed, meaning the entire mixture is dulled out.

If you want to mix an intense violet (which you can’t really tell I did in the above photo, because the violet is too dark and dense to be able to read as more than a purplish-near-black; violet has the darkest innate value [it is closest to black in its pure mixed form] of all colors), you need to mix a violet-leaning blue with a violet-leaning red. In this case, I mixed Permanent Rose Red with Ultramarine Deep.

Similarly, if you want a vibrant green, you want to mix a green-leaning blue with a green-leaning yellow; and for a vibrant orange, mix an orange-leaning red with an orange-leaning yellow. This is the easiest way to think about it, I’ve found.

This is because overtones matter, and they will either enhance or detract from your mixes — if you’re after those pure-looking tones. A lot of people aren’t, as without further mixing, they look very simple. In addition, there are tons more ways to mix your primary colors than I’ve shown above. They just all come out slightly muted, to very muted, to nearly-neutralized.

I figured this out by painting six color wheels with all possible “warm” and “cold” split-primary combinations with my set of primaries (which I should list on the site; I also haven’t defined “warm” and “cold”). This was just (surprise!) the most intense result, after having cut all of them apart and reassembled them.

But once you have the prismatic colors, you can then play around by mixing other colors, using them: mixing a little across the color wheel (which I didn’t define, and would need to) will mute them. Mixing hardcore across the color wheel will give you a chromatic grey. (Mixing to the side, e.g. green with orange…not sure.)

I just didn’t have the time to do that, this time.

Maybe I should do my final project on color…it just seems so…not-academic…

I get freedom, and I just…throw it away…WHY?

I just hate to have to deal with a neutral Web layout, when I otherwise have few limitations on color, except for usability purposes. For this project, I would have to make a relatively boring/very neutral layout in terms of color, because the background a color is seen against, alters the human perception of it (this is something put forward by Josef Albers, and in my perception, holds true). I should have some examples of this from my Color Dynamics portfolio; and even if not, it’s easy enough to reproduce on Photoshop.

I will also be getting very, very familiar with the <float> tag…

What I have been doing so far is utilizing one of the nearest topics to me, in order to populate my learning documents; and that is self-care. Buddhism isn’t far off from that, but neither is painting.

Maybe I just feel guilty that I’m working some fun into my assignments?

Gah…

Recovering back to where I was earlier:

I’ve been at my computer for a good amount of time, today.  It does require effort to juggle three classes at once; one of which, I was barely even aware of falling behind in, until I started rooting around in the Learning Management System (LMS).  Luckily, I’m only behind in the readings…also luckily, we’re less than a week into the semester, and I’ve turned in the majority of my homework.  I think what I still need to work on, is just responding to others.

I have more (hope) than a drop of sunshine that I will indeed be able to handle these three classes, plus work, art and exercise.  (If that makes sense?  Yes, I’m probably referencing one or more of my citrine crystals, which in turn reference gem lore which I’ve probably only retained subconsciously — and energetic impressions, which…well, I am highly interested in color and its emotional and mental effects, what can I say…)  Tonight, I have also been looking back through my archives, and found an entry from a while back which it might be good to “reset” to.

Recently, I’ve been working with the watercolor pencils, plus acrylic inks, fineliners, and some drawing which felt intense, even if it wasn’t.  😉  (I’ve also started to branch back into interests in sewing and embroidery, which is a relief just from being content-neutral and fiddly enough to sate my desire to manually puzzle things out.)

I’m thinking that I will be better off coloring my illustrations with watercolor, at this point, than I will be with utilizing acrylic ink.  I have finer control with the former, stemming from greater experience.  After dealing with inking and colors, I can see where I stand in regard to using the acrylic inks as a serious art medium (as versus an experimental one).  Though, of course, that will take more experiments.

But I want to get back to color studies, specifically with the watercolors.  I also have a good deal of gouache which I think will be useful…and I have recalled the lamination film I bought just to make bookmarks.  This could keep me busy.

I think maybe I’ve been spoiled on having good-quality paints…the colors in all of my paints are just seriously vibrant.  Possibly moreso, than my pencils, aquarelles, and the acrylic inks I currently have (though the last are decent — just not great).  Pencils and aquarelles are useful, don’t get me wrong — but for me the usefulness is in the portability and cleanliness.  I’m not completely certain, but I feel the chroma (color intensity) of colored pencils and aquarelles, suffers a bit in comparison to the character of paint.

I can even work with heavy-body acrylics, on canvas — I have canvas pads which are a very forgiving surface for experimentation, even though they warp with water.  I could then cut apart a composition and layer different elements together.

Not to mention that I’ve nearly entirely lost the linocutting thread that I had at the beginning of Summer.  I want to get back to that.

I’m not too hot on either of the character drawings I did a little bit ago…which is as good a reason as any to experiment on them.  I may not be planning on working on my story, but I can still play with drawings.  (I’ve also realized that I’ve hit the *ahem* “Precious Point,” I guess I’ll call it, which has stalled me out on working on either of them; a.k.a., “I don’t want to ruin it!”)

At some point, though, an image either has to develop or it has to be abandoned or finished…there’s not much point to freezing for an indefinite amount of time, until — until what, until my skills or “vision” get better? — which won’t happen if I don’t push myself to gain the experience of working through this.  The alternative is stunted growth, fear, and a bunch of half-finished (or barely-begun) drawings.

I’ll need to have some practice at drawing, inking, and coloring, in order to deal with this at all in the future, as well.  So there’s really no point to giving up illustration — even if it is difficult for me to develop, in words, the story which the illustrations support.

I think I’m ready to try and get some sleep, now.  It shouldn’t be too hard…

Testing Supracolor II watercolor pencils…

Supracolor II, FW acrylic inks
Supracolor II 30-set color chart — see the middle stripe for the cleanest wetted colors.  The blocky, intense colors are FW acrylic inks…take note that I’ve had to apply a “Brightness” adjustment to this, as I took the photo at around 11:30 PM.  Lower left are mixtures I was playing with.

I did try out the Caran d’Ache Supracolor II pencils, tonight.  I am a little underwhelmed, upon seeing the color density next to full-strength FW acrylic inks…though I am glad that the Supracolors will work with a good degree of opacity, on top of black paper.  (I was using Strathmore ArtAgain coal black paper.)  Using them on toned paper was my fall-back position, in case I wasn’t satisfied with their performance as aquarelles (watercolor pencils).

In Caran d’Ache’s favor, for the tests I was working with very little pressure, ranging to heavy pressure; with a clean waterbrush, the great amount of white showing through was likely due to the synthetic bristles wiping up the pigment, as versus simply wetting it.  And after the bristles pick up the heavy amount of pigment in the dark area, the brush wants to spread it everywhere…which could be a plus or minus, depending on your aims.  I haven’t learned how to control the pigment flow yet, though.  And I’m thinking that the sketchy quality of the soft leads might be something that grows on me.

I think I’ve mentioned before that two of the main reasons I stopped using colored pencils were the fact that the (usually white) color of the paper shows through to a degree I really can’t let slide; and the tiny point of contact with the paper.  In addition, paints and inks often have better color intensity, and they cover the entire area (excepting dry-brush techniques).

Aquarelle pencils, however…can cover the white, once they’re wet; and though they are also suited to detail work, I can also switch out with a brush to manipulate the pigment.  I am aware that my most effective present method for eliminating white paper showing through is to paint the substrate first (or use toned paper, which is meant to show through).  I haven’t tested this yet — though I did indeed get the Supracolors to use on top of acrylic ink or watercolor laydown.

What I did with the acrylic ink tonight did show me that the degree of opacity offered by the FW inks is acceptable to me — only three inks were marginal enough to cause concern (White [obviously], Emerald Green, and Flesh Tint), and the two which weren’t white were both convenience mixtures.

The biggest drawback to the FW inks — besides the fact that they each have to be shaken up — is that there is no Ultramarine equivalent (I have used) for mixing, meaning that one is more or less dependent on their (warm-leaning) Violet, which can be tinted with a bit of blue, or Crimson.  I think Indigo is the only deep blue of theirs which I don’t have, and I left that one because of concerns about color temperature.  That means that Rowney Blue is the most violet-leaning blue that I have, and…that isn’t saying much.

However — I am now thinking that maybe I am better off with acrylic inks, as versus aquarelles…except where it comes to convenience in travel.  I can use the Supracolors at work, that is, because I don’t need anything except the aquarelles, a waterbrush, and paper.  I shouldn’t, on the other hand, use acrylic inks or paints at work because of the toxicity issue — the only sink which is not used for food is in the bathroom.  And I would much rather separate utility and food (and toilet) sinks, given that I don’t want to take a chance with exposing my co-workers — or anyone else — to pigments (as I’ve been told that, “none of them are really good for you”).

I was working on top of watercolor paper tonight, though.  The effects of both media may be different on a surface like Bristol board.  I haven’t yet tested this, but it was apparent that the watercolor paper (Canson Montval) absorbed the ink of my fineliner (Micron Graphic 1) enough so that it seemed as though it did not dry to the point it needed to, in order not to lift when hit with water.  (Either this, or there was some sort of reaction with ingredients in the Supracolors.)

Consequently, washing water over the aquarelles caused black ink to tint the original run — even though hitting it with plain water alone, did not cause any lifting or smudging of the Micron.

I’m also wondering about whether or not I want to actually scrub the aquarelles with my brush — it’s not something I’m used to, and this time it actually did lead to a messy outcome.  It is a watercolor-like outcome, but I never scrub my watercolors with my brushes unless I’m lifting it off of the paper.

In any case…I’ve got to play around with color mixing and layering.  I should be able to do that, sometime soon…

“Little squares”…this could be the beginning of a series…

Hmm.  I’m thinking that I want to play around with negative space more, here.  But this is…the first actual attempt at “painting” that I’ve done in a while.

I had intended just to start out with another attempt at cataloging green mixes, then realized that I did not have to stick expressly with squares.  Then I realized that I did not have to confine myself to mixtures of just two colors — so I can adjust any two with whatever else I need to get to the point at which I want to be.

3513w
“Little squares,” WIP.

I think that vivid green in top center is Cobalt Turquoise Light + Hansa Yellow.  I think.  I’ve also had some success with mixing greens using Hansa Yellow Deep as a component (which surprised me, because it seems to lean orange).

I’m actually kind of amazed at the depth this image provides me.  I’ve decided to stop for the night, in case I’m overworking this.  I’m planning to look at it again tomorrow and see what I want to add to it.

🙂  But yes — this patterning could turn out even better if I can pay attention to the shapes of negative spaces…and maybe try and not lock myself into a pattern, so much…

Tired.

Maybe it’s the heat, but I’ve been asleep for most of today [EDIT:  make that, “yesterday”]; although I did go a mile on the exercise bike, it was at about a constant 5-6 MPH, as versus 6-8, which is more my norm.  And I did remember to work on core muscles, then did a little yoga to equalize the tension (my lower back is much stronger than my abdomen — from carrying school books — so I’m mostly working my abs at this point), then did as many push-ups as I could, before my core muscles started to tire and get unbalanced.

I’m starting to think that trying to shift my bedtime earlier has really messed up the sleep pattern I had been holding to.  So now I have an excess number of hours spent asleep, as versus staying up late — and I still have a hard time waking in the morning.  This means that although my immunity may be high, I’m spending most of the time of my “vacation” in bed.  And after I get up, I’m still groggy.

But then, the temperature has been in the 90-100º F region (in the 30 C range, that is) for the last three days…meaning that it is uncomfortable to be awake around, say, 2 PM; and more comfortable to be up around 2 AM.  (If you can handle being up with the earwigs and spiders, that is.)

I did get to go to the art store, but unfortunately my time there was limited, and so I bought a number of things I hadn’t intended to.  One of them was “permanent” masking fluid — essentially a liquid wax — that can be applied to watercolor paintings to repel subsequent layers of color.  This is…interesting.  I had intended to get a liquid latex — that is, removable — frisket, but I’ve been wary around liquid latex for a very long time (the fumes can cause latex sensitization, meaning a new allergy to rubber).  Liquid wax, though…that’s interesting.

It sounds like the working process might be (loosely) similar to the reductive carving technique for relief printing…but maybe I’ve got that backwards?  I’m not sure — not too experienced in linocut printing, yet!  The thing that I am fairly confident in is that it’s relatively very safe.  And if I can work with certain aspects of my painting being permanently “clear”, it might be a way for me to work with masking fluid without worrying about my health.

I’m also, now, wondering about the possibilities of reduction carving for floral images, utilizing those tiny 2″x 2″ blocks I bought a surplus of?  I’m not terribly attached to my initial design anymore:  it’s very…straight-on.  It works as a mandala, but I don’t want to limit myself to mandalas.  Not that mandalas are bad, but I really need to work on asymmetrical composition.

The tricky part about this is…which images to use as designs, whether to draw from life, from photos, or from imagination.  It’s fairly apparent to me that plants:  particularly flowers and fruit, and other things I might find at the market (and in gardens), are things that draw my attention.  I just don’t want to fall into a cliché.

(Interesting idea:  are insects [like bees] attracted to the centers of mandalas?  And that’s why gnats keep trying to fly right into my eyeball?)

I’ve just spent the better part of an hour looking over my photo archives in search of images that still spoke to me.  What I’m seeing is actually the fact that most of the content which I’ve found…interesting, has to do with bright and graduated — that is, intricate and complicated — color.  And that, along with problems of translucency, reflection, and light.  Ideal for watercolors.

However, if I were looking for something to just practice linocuts with, I have a number of photos of insect specimens which might work well, particularly the moths and butterflies.  I could be trying to jump ahead of myself in terms of my skill level, though.  Maybe I should just try for a better carving of my initial flower and try to do what I had initially planned to — print these in colors over my suminagashi prints, then cut them apart and give them out as bookmarks.  I think, but am not sure, that the Canson Wet Media paper was the one which printed most efficaciously for that use.

The question does arise, though, as to whether to back these with something nice (like patterned scrapbooking paper), so it won’t just be white paper.  And that begs the question of which glue will dry and cure completely, and not leave sticky marks in books (I don’t think it will smear the front of the bookmark).  I have an idea of what to use, though.

Then there was the falling-gingko-leaf idea for a number of prints which I could work…but I’m not sure, entirely, what to put in the background, here.  I could use acrylic inks or more suminagashi, attempting this time to create greens and earth tones, with black — I’d just have to mix up the ink ahead of time.  I’ve also found laminating material at a nearby office supply store…but don’t know if I’ll need it, or indeed, whether to charge to recoup my costs (at least, if someone wants a bulk order of these after I give out the free ones).  Then, there’s the fact that lamination itself could cause fading…

I kind of wonder what the point of this is.  Did I have footing that I lost?  Do I really want to be doing art more than writing, right now, and that’s why it’s been more difficult to stay on task for the last couple of days?

Ah, I don’t know — maybe just going to the art store made me feel sad, or something.  I don’t have an infinite amount of money to be spending on this stuff — which, I suppose, is the same drawback that beadweaving had, except that fine art can pull more of an income stream (relatively).  And I’m thinking that I may have to move on from my current job, relatively soon.

It might be that I’m sleeping a lot more, so I see the lost hours reflected in lost time to do anything — and I don’t want to do my homework.  And I don’t want to go to work because of interpersonal conflicts.  Library Science seems apparently to draw heavily off of Social Science, which is something I was interested in before I found out that I would have to interact with people.  It’s kind of like Sociology all over again.

I’m just not sure which classes to take if I do, indeed, want to be a Web Designer or Web Developer, with the side benefit of being able to work in a Virtual Library space.

Actually:  I just now looked it up, and the pathway I’m on crosses over heavily with the path which would prepare one to be a Web Designer.  At least I’m OK with that.  I know that Web Design is heavily about understanding users so we can make navigating our pages as easy as possible for them…still a human-centered and ultimately a service job, but it isn’t one where I have to constantly deal with people I don’t know (whom I don’t want to know, but who want to know me).

It could be that I’m dealing with a touch of depression after a job-description rewording at work.  Like I said, I could go in for more hours, and it would help the money aspect of this, but I really don’t want to — and it’s mostly because of one person in particular who is creeping on me.  And that, in turn, is producing a lot of dysphoria for me (I don’t identify as a woman, but this *** is obviously seeing me as a “girl,” which is worse, because he obviously thinks I’m young and stupid).

Anyway, maybe I should go do something productive so I can stop fantasizing about what there is of my tendency to rage around this issue…

I really don’t want to be female, right about now; and being female and gender-variant is worse, because it’s OBVIOUS when people are messing with you because of your appearance…