Gender Identity and Presentation

This section could be useful to those just figuring themselves out, who, like me, only see themselves in fragmentary form in other people. I thought that I had this figured out, then gender fluidity threw another wrench at me, and I realized that I need to do something more than I’m doing — or at least think more than I have been thinking — about my current life situation.

This ties in with mental health, as I am realistically considering working out to the extent that I appear buff and strong, with a masculine gender identity part- or full-time — in my own perception, at least. It will be more likely that I will go by the gender-neutral pronoun, “they,” than as “he,” though (I just anticipate too much push-back on the latter; especially as I don’t intend to stop wearing clothes that fit me just because other people get very wrong ideas about who I am, when I wear them).

I do feel that I am now more comfortable with uncertainty. That on its own has led me to stop clinging to potential ways to name my experience that distort it. The problem I have is when certain states move in and feel entirely certain, and I forget that they have, so far, never been stable and permanent without being intermittent…