Yes, I made it!

A lot of hard work, starting at 7:30 this morning, and…I’m done with everything due tonight (with about two hours to spare), except for a reading with statistics I don’t understand. Luckily, I don’t think I’m expected to — at least, not now.

Right now I’m sitting here in a fleece throw blanket. The blanket allows me to sit on the couch and read instead of laying in bed and reading (which will apparently inevitably lead to me falling asleep). Or, as I’m doing now, sit at the computer and actually have some semblance of warmth.

What’s next is a paper on an interview and a discussion topic, due Wednesday; so I have about 2.5 days to work on this. After that, I’ll need to wrap up my advocacy class: I have about 8 days to do so.

After that, I should have more time to get into my readings, including the back reading for my database class. And…then I have about two weeks forced vacation (they’re updating some stuff at my library). It will likely be horrific when I get back, but I hope to be caught up (or ahead) with my schoolwork.

I’m still unsure as to what I should take during Summer and Fall semesters. Ultimately, the big choice is between a MySQL class and an Academic Libraries class, but I’ve also been thinking about Marketing (which could become a big part of my job, if I work in a Public Library). I had been putting off Marketing because I’ve already taken an Intro to Marketing course, at a different college.

…but, I just checked, and it’s a moot point: Marketing won’t be given again, before my graduation. It wasn’t given this semester, either. Hmm…

Regardless, I’ve been told not to worry about these decisions until I’ve stabilized.

And I also did, on a quick search, find a SQL tutorial; it’s just not specifically, MySQL. I’ve seen that MariaDB has replaced MySQL in some places, online.

I think maybe I’ve just gotta remember that I want to work online…not on the front lines. Even though databases are hard (they are!), at least at first.

It could be cool to be a tech-oriented librarian publishing cool resources online, though, no? (I have the urge to take 5 units during Summer, but don’t know if I’d be shooting myself in the foot [like I did with taking 10 units this semester]. It’s possible, though, just to take the Programming and Cybersecurity courses, and only deal with a couple of units.)

I’ve also got to remember that no matter how awesome Reference Librarians are, that doesn’t mean I in particular would have the temperament for it, and I might be better in a database/web design/web development role. That actually is where I had been pointing, until, “database design and implementation,” got real. With maths!

And actually, that’s where I’ve been pointing for years. I shouldn’t forget that.


I just looked over at my bookcase…I have some unread Graphic Design texts that I really do want to get to, including one from Builders Booksource…my sibling took me there, once: it’s a bookstore for architecture and design. I mention it by name because I don’t want to forget the name — like I just did — and have to look it up by location.

Also, there’s that whole Barnes & Noble layoff thing. I just looked at the TechCrunch article and got sick of seeing all the junk loading in my tray along with the desired information (I left because it’s anxiety-producing, even with high security), but…yeah, it doesn’t look good for B&N. The bright side of being a specialist bookstore is that you probably have regular clientele who might prefer to sponsor local business, rather than Amazon.

I don’t remember having mentioned this, but Oakland actually has a hidden but thriving art and design scene. Having Builder’s Booksource nearby is probably a great community resource…and they’ll only stay there as long as the money comes in.

Of course, I’m probably going to be busy for a while. I think I’m only on my fourth week of classes.

And maybe one of these days I’ll try and dip back into the maths. (I just like calling it, “maths.”) There are places around where I could build and/or rebuild my skill…


Dark ‘kin, mythology, and pop culture

So yes, I did see the last episode of Dragon Ball Super, and yes, I did start to do research on it. Apparently there’s an end-date for the series (though a movie is planned for later)…and things are about to get fairly serious in the show.

Whereas earlier, it seemed like the writers were just playing around…the present arc with Mirai (Future) Trunks is looking as though it isn’t going to turn out well. I haven’t read all the spoilers, though, and I don’t know exactly when the series is set to end.

I am not entirely sure why the last episode had such an effect on me, except for the fact that Goku Black is an extremely twisted character, especially if you know a bit about Asian philosophy and religion. That, in turn, recalls my time in Otherkin groups…

(AAH! I said it! Finally! Watch me fight a tide of new incoming spam!)

…and it’s also recalling the freakin’ Political Advocacy course I’m in, at the moment, where it’s been shared that barely anyone wholeheartedly thinks of themselves as a bully or terrible person, even though they may be seen that way by others.

So anyway, on the radar tonight, I had to deal with extended family (which is itself a bit demented, though I’m not going to get into it) and with a session where we dealt with what to do about the portfolio option for graduation. I feel better, now that I attended.

But yeah, I can see you wondering about that Otherkin bomb I dropped. I’m wondering about it, too. (If you don’t know what “otherkin” means, it refers to people who primarily identify as something other than human. It’s sometimes distinguished from “therianthrope,” which is someone who identifies as a creature who is now or was at one time literally existent; “otherkin” includes these people and also those who see themselves in myth, and/or as possibly not literally existent, or for whom we have no proof of their literal existence.)

At this point, I’m fairly certain that the reason I even got into that subculture is because I’m a highly creative person who lacked creative outlets…which is what I’ve been trying to say in one form or another, for a while (though I haven’t been back to a ‘kin forum in a very long time; the ones I was active on, went dead several years ago. Do we want to resuscitate that…).

The major issue I’m having right now is still f***ing identifying with my Kintype, even though I know it’s an outgrowth of my own human mind, and a metaphor for what I actually am. That is, it both is and isn’t valid, at the same time.

The major problem with this is that my Kintype (that is, the type of being I identify with/see myself to be) isn’t highly respected; I tend to freak people out when I say what it is. (Unlike one of my old acquaintances who identified as something hardly anyone in this hemisphere had a definition for, I could state what it is and everyone would immediately get an idea. The ideas would just be multiple and largely off-base.) At this point, I’m not even certain I know what I’m referring to when I give someone else a reference, because we come from such different swaths of backgrounds that I don’t know that what I mean is what they think of.

But to give you an idea, I have spoken with people who had identities along the “dark” end of the spectrum, and we kind of had a little thing going. I’ve actually been more comfortable (to an extent) with them than with the general canid types or people who have seen themselves in a positive/religious light as angels (though that can get pretty dark, too — they just don’t see it as such).

And…yeah, that whole “not sharing intellectual worlds” thing is a reason why I identified as ‘kin, in the first place. For the sake of family and (multiple versions of) security, I’ve been trying to ignore it for, well, years. Granted that I’m no longer anywhere near Pagan/alternative religion circles anymore, and as such don’t have to worry about people taking me deadly seriously (no I am NOT god-kin), but still.

I actually have been giving thought to the entire Book of Enoch/Nephilim thing, although it’s outside of my own intellectual circle. That is to say, ancient Near-East beliefs are not something (anything) I’m familiar with, largely, outside of researching the Daevas, but I have been giving time to thoughts about unseen advanced beings giving humans information which we may or may not be ready to have, yet (with the balance tipped toward “not ready to have,” on a large scale). Nuclear capabilities are one of those things. At this point I’m not sure if it’s a spiritual thing or an alien thing, but it could be fun to write fiction about. 😉

Of course, it would only be fiction. I have a hard enough time discerning that fact as it is.

Those of you who were around during the online-Satanist boom of the early 2000’s, probably know what I’m referencing with the Enochian thing: at the time I left, one leader in particular (one of the more balanced, tolerant and non-mind-control ones) was of this mindset, and…I don’t know what to say about that, really, except I kinda miss her. What I don’t miss are the political views that came along with a bunch of the other people on her fora. I also don’t miss the (constant barrage of) drama. And the constant stream of people wanting to “sell their souls.” Why is your soul so cheap?

Reason I never turned Satanist is that I have no grudge against Christianity except where as a hegemonically organized voting bloc, they intrude upon my self-concept (heh heh) and human rights…and that happens to be a political/power/control thing with a glaze of religion, more than anything. Because I was never inculcated as Christian, I don’t have that specter to fight against in my own mind. Most Satanists, to my estimation, do.

Anyhow, that Goku Black thing kind of freaked me out, and I’m pretty sure it’s in relation to his trying to elicit thanatos from Trunks. “Thanatos” is…if memory serves, I think it’s a Freudian term, which translates to the “drive to death,” or the desire to die. Particularly, in this case, it was because Black had basically turned the world into a Hell and told Trunks that if he died, he could be with all the things and people he loved (not a spoiler, it’s been on already).

I’ve had to deal with this enough as a youth and adult that maybe it just tipped off something in my mind. Particularly as certain of us have decided to flush the world down the c***per because they’re mortal and selfish and thus have no reason to care about its future…

…let me get off of that…

…but it kind of makes it clear why some people don’t want to be associated with the species, yes?

Ugh. Anyway.

Anyway, it could be interesting to start studying the whole Otherkin thing, again. My major issue is that I have no exact definition for what I am, and what information there is about anyone like the term I’ve previously associated with myself, happens to be couched in negativity. The problem is that many very simple people have divided the world into “heroes,” and, “villains,” and I happen to fall toward the latter edge of that, as regards presently dominant culture.

The positive bit of this is that I’m not totally “dark,” and I’m not totally willing to play the villain. I know by now what “darkness” is, in my own lexicon; it isn’t something to aspire to, more than a place we start from. This is not referring to literal properties of absorptiveness by dark-energy beings; more than a lack of knowledge about what is and is not right, and how- and how-not-to live. (Dharma, baby.)

As I’ve said before, certain ways of being have persisted for millenia because they work. This is the point at which I am totally divorced from certain strains of Satanism (if you know, you know). Opposing things just for the sake of opposing them is closer to an illness than to a meaningful philosophy (IMHO). And there are a lot of people who do oppose things just to oppose them, regardless of what kind of havoc that wreaks in their lives or what kind of philosophical weakness that shows. I’m fairly certain these are the people I had been trying to avoid.

Of course, in the present world we don’t have to worry about some things, such as having enough children to maintain our safety, population, and way of life. So some things can be changed in light of differing conditions. My main issue here is being seen as not-of-this-world because I’m adapted to latter conditions rather than former ones. Then I start being gauged as to whether I’m good+not-of-this-world or bad+not-of-this-world, which is really not something for a human (who doesn’t understand me in the first place) to gauge.

I guess it’s something for me to gauge. But that’s tough when the closest **** thing you’ve got is Dragon Ball Super. 😉

I might want to get into reading South Asian and East Asian folktales, at that…at minimum, it will be enlightening as to why I identify so much more with stories out of Asia than stories from the U.S. And there’s the chance that I’ll actually start to understand some of the thought processes behind them…

I knew this blog was good for something.

Over the turning of the new year, I realized a couple of things. One, I have gotten out of the habit of writing regularly, because schoolwork demanded so much of my time — not least, my time at the computer (which is limited due to repetitive-stress concerns: I have had severe pain in my upper back from sitting at my terminal for too long before, and don’t want to repeat it). Two, I have also gotten out of the habit of making art. When starting is the hardest part, that’s not good.

So over about the last week, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with my time. Right now I have three weeks to go before school starts up again. It’s fairly evident that I’ve gotten into a sewing kick, but I didn’t realize how to link that and another of my projects — this being the mandala project that I started towards the end of my Art AA and which carried on a bit further after that — until last night. Check the mandalas tag on my blog to see some of this work.

I’ve realized that the paper-folding technique with which I’ve attempted to create mandala art, may be more useful in plotting quilt squares, than I’ve thought. It may even be more useful this way than in its original form, as paper-folding from a square base tends to make four-sided (or “gated”) designs. It was because of this that I eventually migrated away from paper-folding, to utilizing a compass system. However…it seems to lend itself to this.

I’ve been looking around for books on appliqué. I was only able to find one today, but the quilt book I checked out before also has a section on this. Although it wouldn’t necessarily be easy to work on a pieced quilt with geometric designs stemming from origami forms (though I could be wrong: I haven’t tried it, yet), appliqué can basically take any form. M was thinking that I might be really good at it because I work best in tiny, delicate stitches.

Right now, the biggest question is what construction method to use, as a rigid approach would be fine for something I’d hang on my wall; not so much, though, for something I might eventually use. For example, I wouldn’t want to use glue (as one of the books I found today, recommended), for anything I wanted to cuddle up under. I did find a book which was more laid-back than this, though, which also used hand-stitching as versus machine-stitching (the former of which is basically one of the key reasons for me to be in sewing at all).

I’ve got to return some of these library books.

I have, also, gotten through one chapter on the couture sewing book I checked out, and it’s fairly clear that the entire chapter will be useful.

Anyhow, looking over the blog, the other night, was what tipped me off as to what I had enjoyed before, and directions I might want to go in as regards quilting, now…

I also suppose I am working content into my work!

Fairly wiped out, today.

Starting ~9:30 AM:

I wish I could say that things were better:  I started off today with a headache and nausea. I’m not sure if this is related to being up last night, actually starting a Bullet Journal layout after midnight…it well may be, but right now I wonder if I should go to work. I haven’t eaten anything except a ginger ale…(well, that’s a drink, but). One of the Librarians had a stomach sickness last time I went in, though, so it’s possible I might have picked something up (even if it wasn’t from them). I also might have food poisoning, or a migraine.

At least I now have an idea of what to write, for one half of my homework. This is in relation to UX efficiency. I would try to implement a button which would ask, “Was this helpful?” on catalog result pages. The problem is trying to gauge the duration of a session and trying to ask this question at the exit point of each session, as well as trying to gauge what a user’s information need actually is, as versus what they search for. It would seem that this information would best be gathered with a survey, and that it isn’t a simple one-click measure, however. I’m not sure how best to implement it.

In brighter news, I have three new babies (tiny baby succulents), though I’m not sure how long they will last (I watered one with my hand after drying it on a paper towel, and so I’m hoping I am not going to get mildew in that pot). I got three little soy sauce dishes from Daiso (the Japanese dollar store), and the pots fit right in there!

I’m trying to give them as much light as I can, meaning that the first light of dawn woke me up, earlier. And I realized just how fragile they are, after bumping one of them and having a leaf snap off! >_<;; (At least, the plant seems healthy…)

Writing resumed at 7:45 PM:

I did take photos of these this morning, but have been too wiped out to optimize them for the web, so as of right now, there are photos…but not ones which are ready to show. At this point, I’m fairly certain that what is going on is food poisoning…I have been having trouble regulating my temperature, alternately sweating and feeling cold, with a slight fever. The good thing is that the nausea has faded. I am not sure why I’m the only one who got sick, unless this has to do with the melon I ate, yesterday…

There are three-to-four books I’ve either read deeply into or have looked through, within the last semester, which show how much I could learn and implement about how I run things with my blog and web presence:

  • The non-designer’s design book:  Design and typographic principles for the visual novice (4th ed.) by Williams, R. (2015)
  • Letting go of the words:  Writing web content that works (2nd ed.) by Redish, J. (2014)
  • Graphic design school:  The principles and practice of graphic design (5th ed.) by Dabner, D., Stewart, S. and Zempol, E. (2014)
  • Don’t make me think, revisited:  A common sense approach to web and mobile usability by Krug, S. (2014)

I’m still kind of tired/wiped out, so I’m hoping it’s OK that I didn’t list the publishers or write this up as a style guide would recommend.

It’s also actually fairly amazing, how much my skill at picking out books online, has advanced. I find myself doing things like checking out review sites, multiple library catalogs, bridging through subject headings, reading samples, and taking criticisms of books which seem interesting, into account; in addition to taking into account the other books purchased by a given book’s audience.

And, I’ve been paying attention to how a book sells itself, what audience it is marketing itself to, and why. That is, I don’t necessarily want a self-help book aiming itself toward the market of people desperate to escape writer’s block, because it likely isn’t going to address what I want addressed, and it may be designed to prey on its audience’s vulnerabilities.

I also have called ahead to brick & mortar bookstores to ask if they have the book I want in stock, which probably saved me about three hours (not to mention wasted gas) earlier this week.

I don’t think I could say that I have much of a Web 2.0 presence right now, but it’s very apparent how I could do small tweaks to increase my SEO, for example (if I wanted to). I’m hoping things will get better next semester, as well; I should be introduced to HTML and CSS, then. I hate stressing about grades, too:  it seems so insignificant…but it isn’t, if I want to stay in the program!

I have realized, though, that part of what I’m being introduced to is called, “Design Thinking,” and it’s the same sort of thing I think I would be dealing with if I got a MBA in Design Strategy elsewhere. Except…it’s in Libraries, which has a different ideological slant to it.  I also just heard about Stanford’s “d school,” as well…which, at least, seems very interesting.

I think I’m going to post this and get back to bed…

Brainstorming this, because I need to work on it:

I’m really tired, but I don’t feel like going to bed or taking medication…and I have work tomorrow.  I have also been bouncing around an idea of a story about someone who believes they’re functionally immortal, but on a dying planet.  (or otherwise, a planet going through one of its near-death experiences/mass extinctions.)

This then calls in tension between the desire for unending life and the idea of not clinging to temporary things (as clinging causes suffering and rebirth — not seen as a good thing).  The former, I’ve read as Daoist; the latter is classically Buddhist.  The former brings conflict and life; the latter brings peace and a lack of life as we know it.

I am not sure I would be able to work this into my previous story:  if I did, the character in question would be about the fifth main character (I have traditionally had characters I can shorthand as psychic, lover, demented, parental, all interacting:  yes, I can make them more complex; at the time I first conceived them, though, I was a teen)…but I guess that keeps things…interesting?  I’d like to keep at least two of these characters female, meaning the one who feels immortal (in a mortal world) would likely be such, in addition to the main (though the latter is complicated…though now that I look at this, there are only two clearly male characters here).

Also, I keep having flashes of concern about worldwide famine, which ties into the story I’m thinking about, but which I don’t want to write about in a serious manner (talk about scary and depressing).  On top of this, I’m dealing with multiple generations…though what I mean by that is hard to explain.

What I have found is that I’ve entered the story about 2/3 of the way in, as I thought of it at the time.  But I don’t know how I’ll resolve it…in fact, I don’t know what the central conflict is, yet, to resolve (or maybe I knew at one time, and forgot).  Making peace with death?  Growing tough in order to survive?  Growing together in order to survive?  Dealing with mental illness?  Accepting non-quotidian brain functioning?  Maybe I should just write and see what shows up.

The famine kicks in at a very late (potential) point in the game, and at this point I don’t know if I’m dealing with echoes of past lives, or telepathic beings, or if any of the psychic phenomena are key to solving any of this (more than key to ending and surviving it).

They aren’t “ghosts;” at least in a Western sense, I know what ghosts are, and they aren’t the same things as spirits; rather, they’re interdimensional echoes caused by powerful trauma.  Thus, when you hear coughing at the ruins in Pompeii, it’s possible you’re actually hearing the psychic (traumatic) imprint of coughing reaching you from the past, in the moment in which it happened.  It just has to cross (I need a new word for this) the time barrier, not time and space.

If we’re looking at remnants of the workings of past lives in present entities, such as beings who appear to be outside spirits but are actually personifications of who “you” used to be (given that we don’t remain the same between lives), that’s different.  And if we’re dealing with beings who reside on Earth (apparently) but who only give evidence of their existence in the thoughts of those whose minds function in an abnormal manner, that’s something else.

I should really get to reading some of my material on Daoism, here — I’m sure it would help, though I know I can only learn so much from books.  At one time I was directed toward an elder teaching ba gua about 30 minutes’ drive away (a Chinese internal martial art); I have not met her yet, and to be honest, I’m kind of scared to.  I don’t even know if she’s still alive.

I did find another author who caught my attention the other day at work:  Kenzaburo Oe.

It has been an extremely long time since I have read any fiction (which makes it hard to translate this out into fiction), but one of this author’s books literally found its way into my hand recently…and I have wanted to read more material from Japanese authors, aside from Yukio Mishima (I believe I have read at least one or more of his works, but I can’t recall which — or if what I read was poetry or prose; it had to have been a lifetime ago), and Haruki Murakami (who I just don’t jive with).

Why Japanese?  It’s the East Asian culture I have most familiarity with; not a nationalistic thing.  I figure it’s as good a place as anywhere to gain some solid footing, and then from that place, branch out.  Although I’m fairly certain my main character is not Japanese.  It’s just been so long since I’ve read any good fiction, that I need to start with something I can grasp and which has some semblance of cultural relevance or utility for me on a larger scale.

And…I’m being told to get to bed…

Difficulty switching modes…

After a day or so of fully working for as long as I have been awake, it’s kind of difficult to shift back into a mental space where I have options, and time.

Today was mostly spent asleep; yesterday…I can’t remember much because I was that exhausted, and M wouldn’t let me fall asleep during the day.  Accordingly, I lay down at 7:30 last night and slept nearly all the way through to 11:30 this morning.  I guess I was TIRED.  Then I got up, ate, fell asleep at about 1:30 PM, and slept again until 5 PM.

To my credit, I did get work done on the Japanese language acquisition — although it’s frustrating to have to re-learn kana (Japanese syllabary) again.  I have most of the hiragana memorized to the point where it’s easily recognizable and retrieved, although I still may mis-write if I move too fast; katakana is another story.

When I was first taking Japanese-language classes, katakana were mostly ignored; we were told to learn this set of kana on our own.  Due to both this and the relative rarity of their use (when compared with hiragana and kanji), there are a number of katakana that I don’t easily remember.  Today, after having finished the hiragana handbook, I started in on katakana and realized that this was going to be much harder for me, than the former.

I’m thinking I’m experiencing a bit of caffeine withdrawal as well, because I’m really irritated at this, right now.  I’m also tired, again.

Also, though, I was able to sit through what I had to for this week in UX (User Experience) and finish reading the incredibly light reading assigned for this week (four pages).  Which is kind of irrational, when compared with all the work I had to do over the weekend, and the fact that I just had to read two books over two weeks.

But anyway.  I did have the option of working with watercolors, today, but I just really didn’t feel up to it.  One of the new colors (Cobalt Turquoise Light) I have, is one I intended to get about two weeks ago, but someone had put a regular Cobalt Turquoise in its slot (they aren’t the same color!), and I neglected to check the label before purchasing it.

Now I have the Light shade, but my toxin anxiety is acting up, and I’m hesitant to use it.  (It was likely stimulated by finding a beautiful yellow paint which was made with an antimony-containing component, on my last trip to the art store — this is W&N Naples Yellow Deep, PBr24.  On looking up antimony toxicity, I can see that I had a bigger shock than maybe this warranted, but still…)

The other new color is Phthalo Green:  Yellow Shade, which I have wanted to compare to Phthalo Green:  Blue Shade (I’m hoping to get warmer greens), but for some reason, I think I did not want to waste (or “waste”) watercolor paper on this.  Which isn’t a really good excuse, because I have enough watercolor paper, and have discovered that the paper I’m using isn’t really all that great, anyway.  And I can’t learn if I don’t practice.

So I have been practicing kanji and kana, and I think the reason for this is that it’s easier for me to switch back into a studying mode than an art mode, when I’ve been locked in “studying mode” for a while.  Art…is much less structured.

And speaking of structure, I have to work tomorrow, so I should see if I can fall asleep, again…

I suppose I can take time out to write.

Hi all,

I’ve been doing a bunch of reading, recently, for my Summer class.  On top of this, I worked extra hours this week.  I just finished the last two lectures tonight, and appear to be all caught up on my reading.  Now the work begins.

In class, we’ve been reading a book called Letting Go of the Words:  Writing Web Content that Works (Second Edition), by Janice (Ginny) Redish.  This is with an eye to building functional and useful (library) websites.  Because of this, and because I didn’t wholly realize that the site at which you’re reading this now is likely a “destination site,” I had been thinking that massive reorganization was necessary for this blog.  (Library websites are usually not “destination sites;” they’re usually redirecting sites.)

It seems that yes, some reorganization needs to happen so that readers aren’t continually faced with textwalls.  However, I need to take stock of what is here and what is most used (and ideally get some reader feedback), before I do it.

What I had been doing, instead of posting here, was experimenting with the Pages function on WordPress.  (And, right:  I’ve also changed the Theme.)  I’ve been thinking of keeping a (relatively) static front page with links back to (periodically revised and added) material which may go unused when the front page is just an infinitely-scrolling list of chronologically-organized text.

It may just be clear, however, that doing that kind of work to this blog may, 1) inhibit its functionality as a recording place for me (rewriting things written three years ago may destroy their relevance), and, 2) not be feasible, in terms of content.

In terms of the initial goal and approach of this blog (as a place to record my thoughts so that I could formulate a career direction), and the newer goals I can see emerging (now that I have a career direction), it might be more worth it to keep this place as a place to record my thoughts, and set up a different space with the goal of actually serving my readers.

(I wonder if blogs’ reasons for existence have shifted, over the past 20 years?)

Anyhow, I have a number of things due in what is, in practicality, the next 24 hours, so I’ll try and cut this short so that I can get enough rest to be functional tomorrow.

And ah — right!  I wanted to record this somewhere I could remember it.  This is off-topic for this post (though on-topic for the blog), but M said something to me the other day.  She didn’t mean for me to stop painting, but rather for me to get a job which could support me in order to enable my creativity.  This was likely in response to, “I’d like to go to the art store; I have some things in mind, but I won’t be able to even use them before Monday, because I won’t have time.”  Apparently, people have been saying that I should be making art because I could be making money at it… 🙂 …always a nice thing to hear!