Tired.

Today has been spent doing things which needed to be done (immunization, blood work, food shopping). Right now, it’s fairly cold — enough so, that I do want to just get back under the covers. I just checked, and at this point, we only have half an hour of sunlight left (as I write the beginning of this post).

I’ve been attempting — consciously attempting — not to push myself as hard as I had been, at work. At this point, I believe that what happened last Saturday was sheer exhaustion. I wasn’t getting enough sleep, and I wasn’t eating before going to work. I also wasn’t pacing myself, and I had not been taking breaks and measuring out my energy with a mind to maintaining my stamina over the day, or over the week.

Again, optimally I am working 18 hours a week, at this point. It’s not really a lot, but it’s several more than I had been working, and it means that I need to take care of myself better than I had been. I also have been notified that it seems I may be in the middle of a mood episode.

Although I haven’t always been aware of it, depressed mood isn’t the only thing I deal with; but also periods of elevated, expansive mood. I have to watch for this because of the fact that I have been considering restarting my jewelry business. I need to remember that wanting to succeed does not equate to a guarantee of success; and that as much as I may want to work at my jewelry now, my brain chemistry is seeming not to be quite optimal at this point, so I may not be thinking clearly.

I am pretty sure that my sleep has been disturbed recently, though a lot of that has been due to staying up late and sleeping in the daytime, meaning that my biorhythms are probably a bit thrown off. That also leaves me vulnerable to wanting to go to sleep when I should probably be awake. It wouldn’t work if I were working more days than I am.

Well, I had hoped today to look at sewing patterns, but then again, I do have an untried pattern that I had hoped to work from Folkwear — if the pattern is still big enough for me. I can’t be certain at this point. The big thing is figuring out how much batik fabric I actually have.

What seems ridiculous is that I’ve only been active for about six hours, and I’m fatigued again…and I don’t know exactly why. I would expect Seasonal Affective Disorder on top of everything else, but can’t be sure.

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