I’ve just completed two more essays. Go me! But this post isn’t about them. It’s about the fact that I have recurrent dreams about aquariums and purchasing fish and feeding fish and having fish die because I forget they’re there…this is between dreams, now, all right: I have the dreams and I set up the aquarium and then in another dream I realize I’ve forgotten about the little fish and I go back and some, or all, are dead. 😦
I’ve had a few little fish in my life. Well…maybe just two? I had two goldfish, once: one died early on, and the other lived until it tried to commit suicide and jumped out of the tank. (The tank was way too small, and it needed more space, more plants, and companions. M was not great about empathizing with the needs of an animal, though. Having a fish at all, something that could be contained, was her compromise.)
My experience in caring for my plants has kind of gotten me to the point where I am at least on the verge of wishing to care for an animal. Why? Why would I voluntarily take on responsibility for caring for an animal?
Because I get annoyed with people?
Because I kind of pity little things born into captivity and want to give them a happy, safe and comfortable life?
Because I’m lonely?
Last time I had this dream, I was looking through the cupboards for a teacup to half-bury in the gravel, so that my fishes could hide in there. I only had two, and they kind of were these guppy-type things.
I used to be set on Tiger Barbs, but they’re aggressive fish that need to school. Even though they are, from what I’ve seen, more intelligent than most; I kind of don’t want to witness any fish (let alone my fish) being ganged up on by them. It’s kind of like dealing with crows: they’re really intelligent, but they have a bad reputation.
What’s funny is that in the dream, I keep going back to these one or two pet stores, and I have one or two aquariums in the house which I can use (in the dream); usually, they take up a good amount of table space. (I don’t know yet what that means, but I have an idea.)
Someone else on WP just posted about Zebra Finches. If I weren’t concerned about mites and parasites, and allergies, and the food finches [and other birds] routinely throw all over the floor, I might be more tempted to get a pair of finches. But finches…I don’t think you can even play with finches, which puts them at about fish level, for me.
And…it is advancing towards 2:30 AM, here. I should get some rest.