Tired.

I feel like I’ve been asleep or in bed for the majority of today.  I honestly can’t tell, because my sleep log has been going without “lying down for 10 minutes which turns into 45,” but yeah.  Before dinner I had a two-hour nap, which is probably why I’m still awake.

And the genmai-cha I had earlier (after waking) wasn’t all that great — a little sweet, probably from the rice; and a little weak, from the quality of the leaves.  I’m going to have to find a better source.  (Maybe Whole Foods?)

Right now, I’m honestly kind of wiped out.  I would draw, but I don’t know if that would take up too many of my resources.  I could read for classes, but with having recently taken time out of homework to care for myself and remember why I’m in this program (so that I can have a life worth living)…I find myself not wanting to do that, at the moment.  That is, a life of entirely work is not a life worth living…

I have made an unofficial plan to carry multiple nib-widths of black gel pen, along with Sharpies, for an everyday carry focused on blackwork.  (Sorry, just realized that term is primarily used for embroidery and tattoos.  The idea is still the same, though.)  The major problem with this is that Sharpies are notoriously non-archival (they brown the paper and eventually fade, themselves), but they’re good for practice which will not be anything I need to keep.  If I work in a small enough sketchbook, I can also scan the pages.

But…yeah.  I have a need to work on school stuff, but almost no desire, to.  It’s mainly because of the Intellectual Freedom class, which is basically a class about critical thinking, politics, and law.  Not exciting.  Plus, we’re approaching things from an ideological perspective…which doesn’t help.  Then there is the entire “Library” angle, which isn’t as relevant to me now that I’ve made a decisive shift towards Information Organization and Retrieval, and away from Public Libraries.

The main reason I took the class was that I wanted to see how libraries approached the topic of freedom of expression — applicable to me as a writer.  I’ve pretty much gotten, though, that the ALA stance toward freedom of expression is part of their political ideology (which not everyone agrees with, but which is, of course, officially endorsed by the ALA).  Politics in general have been irritating me, recently.

I believe I have a little over a month left in classes, meaning I need to preserve everything I need to for my portfolio (which I don’t yet know how to do) and make it through our final projects.  On top of this, for some **** reason I am starting driving lessons next week, directly after my DMV permit renewal.  The clerk tried to get me to take all of my sessions in a cluster (i.e. take everything crammed into three sequential days), but I pushed for one a week.

So I’m kind of stressed about that, too.  On top of this…I have to interview a Librarian for a project due in a month, and can’t get into contact with her before Monday…if I can even do that.

What I want to do is take a vacation off of work and sleep…but I’ve got to go in tomorrow, which will likely be irritating as well because of today’s holiday closure (the work gets backed up to the next day).  The good thing is that I know I won’t be the one clearing out the bookdrop in the morning, and I don’t have to get up early, either.

Maybe I’ll take the 21st off…I can use the time to take care of myself and catch up on everything.

The good thing is that I just found the clerk’s statement that I needed 50 hours of behind-the-wheel training for my Driver’s Test is wrong, as I’m not a minor; so I’m looking at substantially less training time, and probably a quicker path to a license.  Yay research skills.  (In addition, my insurance is probably going to be lower than it would otherwise be, because I’m not a youth, and not male.)

But with things going on as they are, politically…if nothing else the situation may galvanize me and many others, and prompt me to think about what is really important.  I don’t know exactly what that is, yet…but I have a feeling I am going to be relying more on my creative skills to get me through this.  Of course, the decision to be vocal is also a fraught path…so maybe it is a good thing I’m taking an Intellectual Freedom course…

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paintedstone

Haru ("Codey") is a second-year Master's student in Library and Information Science, hoping to find a way to fuse their desire to make the world a better place and to finance their art.

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