I am planning to either revive my alternate blog (the one I had to start for class in 2012, when I was acting insecure) or start a new one, and put my overtly school and career related stuff there, while this one is saved for art and life, with a more conversational tone than a record-keeping one (or one which is overtly reflecting on my job and readings). I will link that other blog to this one, after I get it set up and presentable.
I did make it out over the past couple of days to replace or acquire five tubes of gouache — opaque watercolor. (I also found I like Ivory [Bone] Black better than Lamp Black, at least in gouache…strange that they’re both carbon blacks, but they don’t look the same.) This meant that I also had to take time out to test the ones I had — which was super fun.
I hadn’t painted in a really long time. I pulled out a new brush that I’d never used before and had at it, just color-testing. Most of my gouache was good, but I was able to get some new Holbein and Winsor & Newton gouache (the kind without the acrylic polymer added). I got Lemon Yellow in Holbein because it was beautiful and just what I was looking for, and an Ultramarine Deep from them, too — W&N no longer makes that color. I’m planning to use the opaque watercolors in combination with transparent watercolors, in making some new mandalas — and possibly in illustration. With opaque media, though, I’m going to have to start thinking in terms of shape and blocks of color, rather than line, to describe what I want to describe.
And it isn’t worth it to denigrate mandala art and avoid doing it because it seems too simple. I make things too hard for myself. If I want to do mandala art, and that’s what is going to get me to do art that I want to do at all, I should do it.
I also made it out to a certain clothes store today, where I realized that the Mens’ shirts fit me better and were more comfortable than the Womens’. In the past (when my hair was very short and I was overtly looking gender-variant), this would have been more troubling for me than it was (I have felt exposed there, before) — but fact is that when it fits, I look pretty good in menswear. Not only this, but…it was OK, emotionally.
In the sizing of this store (which caters to a smaller-than-normal clientele), I wear an M in Mens’ shirts. Right now, I wear something closer to an XL in Womens’, there, though I don’t appear terribly overweight. The Womens’ shirts will make me look overweight, though. They cling, and show more body and form than any of the menswear. Showing my body is not something I desire, to be clear; I don’t particularly appreciate being expected to do it.
Then, though, of course you get the either very muted color palette or the screaming bright colors on the Mens’ side. I (mostly) feel good with what I came away with, with the exception of one shirt which I didn’t try on, which was unlabeled…and so I’m not sure I know what I got. It fits more closely, but won’t be a problem if it’s tucked in. The Mens’ shirts have hems long enough to tuck securely; which is more than I can say for a lot of what I’ve had, previously.
I have had three days of what feels like not studying very hard. I know it isn’t completely true, because I had to attend a group meeting, and I had to prepare for a group meeting (2.5 hours, yesterday); then I was doing readings today both before and after getting new clothes — which I needed, by the way. I also picked up a book I needed for a project. And, I was able to assist some family.
It isn’t as though I haven’t been productive, but, was I burned out at the end of Tuesday night, after writing 16 pages total the past two days before? I didn’t want to do any readings at all on Wednesday. I just didn’t want to have to think…especially not about the Library! Though I have realized that I do still want to be an Art Librarian, and shouldn’t let fear of being a beginner keep me from holding an informational interview with at least one person. My vocational program kind of depends on it.
Right now I’ve realized that I do need to get back on my studying so I don’t fall behind. I have a lecture to listen to, two readings to do, some stuff to respond to; I just need to get on it.
The good thing is that the group project is off on a good foot. We have stumbled a tiny bit, which I encountered last night while thinking about this; but it’s salvageable.
Tomorrow is Saturday; I should be studying in the morning, if I randomly wake up at 8 AM again. Then I’m occupied for six hours, then I’m off and can work some more on my Master’s.
Working with the gouache on Monday night sounds good. I want to see those new colors!