Yes, I am actually doing something…

I’m just catching up here on the backlog of work I’ve done and haven’t been able to show.

Why is it important that I show it?  I don’t think that I’m trying to prove anything…at least, hopefully.  But I’ve got to say that the idea of drawing and the act of drawing are two really different things.  I think my teacher compared it to going to yoga practice when you really don’t want to go, and then you feel a lot better, afterwards.

Right now maybe I’m trying to show myself that I am actually doing something, as versus not doing anything.  Like, I’m not getting tired just by being in bed!

I don’t have the time (or energy) right now to devote to uploading all (or even most) of the photos of my work, given that I have to edit them all before posting, and I haven’t mastered batch editing, yet.  I will say, though, that I didn’t see anyone from my class at the exhibit I went to…which means, maybe, a half-sized class on the 19th?  It is possible that they all already sourced and drew their images, but I wouldn’t bet on that class being so on top of things, given how few have shown up on other days when things were due.

Here is one I really love, and which I probably should have gone with my instincts and completed fully…though it was intended just to be a study of the wings, here.

By the way, I find it amazing that I could get in as much detail as this, with such a small subject.  I can actually get in more detail with a drawing than I can with my little digital camera.

Some kind of bee or bee mimic.

We have to use some of our animal images with live models, next class session.  I’m really kind of enthralled with this bee-looking thing.  (I couldn’t tell if it was a true bee or something that had evolved to look like a bee.  Regardless, it was too big to smash — about the size of a bumblebee or medium-large spider…not tarantula-size, but the size of a huge house spider…)

And, I guess, you can see the kind of notan-like areas of light and dark on the wings.  I wonder if that’s what I was drawn to…hmm.

I’m thinking about getting a membership to this museum so that I can come back whenever I want and just draw things.  There’s a lot of taxidermy, including a lot of birds, and hardly anyone is looking at it.

The other two images I’ve prepped, at this point, are ink drawings for the Creative Process Series assignment.  I have three ready for painting, and one which still requires inking.

the Tibetan singing bowl I mentioned before, plus ringer.
Updated Library scene. Please disregard the shadows at the upper left. 😉

I have let up on myself recently, though, and realistically considered the possibility that I may not be done by Tuesday.  I can work as much as I can tomorrow; at least as much as I can while taking care of my body and mental state; but I have accommodations for a reason.  And I actually do have a fairly serious condition, even though I’m relatively high-functioning.  I’ve just got to remember my priorities:  health, first.  Completing an assignment by the due date isn’t worth becoming unstable or suicidal.

I’ve been super stressed over the last 36 hours — so much so that I’ve forgotten to take my morning medication for two days in a row.  This is just not a thing that is normal for me, and it puts me into a fragile position.  With my accommodations, I shouldn’t be docked much (if at all) for turning in an assignment late, depending on how late it is:  I think I get a little less than two weeks to work on it, meaning that if I get it done by next class, I shouldn’t be downgraded.  The problem is just making sure I have time to work on it after Critique, when we’re moving on to other projects.  However:  those other projects may be mostly reading and writing, which is easier for me than Art.

I’m also fairly certain that several other students in my class are disabled…so at least I’m not alone.

And, yeah:  from these and other drawings, it’s possible to see that I’m fairly able to draw in monochrome…but COLOR!  How do I use color???  It’s just not something that I was taught how to integrate into my drawings.

Gah.  (This is a big reason why I want to take it easy during Summer; so I have time and energy to study this problem…)


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Haru ("Codey") is a third-year Master's student in Library and Information Science, hoping to find a way to fuse their desire to make the world a better place and to finance their art.

2 thoughts on “Yes, I am actually doing something…”

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