Restarting meditation

Alright, so after I got off the blog, yesterday, I did go and meditate.  I’m not certain how long it lasted, though I’d say in the ballpark of 15 minutes; maybe longer.  What really amazed me is that after I opened my eyes again, I felt more awake and alert than I’ve felt in days.

This shows me that I need to be meditating more.  I was using a basic Body Scan technique that I learned from my HMO — I wasn’t sure anymore that I remembered it, but apparently I remember it well enough.  🙂  I would like to be working on this writing project and on my art without breaking down, so this is a good thing to learn.

And, just as a note to myself for the future:  I didn’t want to do this, because I have a tendency to get bored and think I could be using the time in better ways.  But if I factor in how much more I’m able to get done, and my quality of life while doing it, after the meditation — it’s really more than worth it.  It isn’t even really the same thing as lying down to rest…it’s more refreshing than that.

It wasn’t until late last night that I recalled the fact that when I was really deep into Buddhist study this last time, I could not tolerate it without meditation, which eventually caused me to stop (I was freaking out a bit as to why).  I’m really not sure of the dynamics that are going on here, but meditation seems to build some kind of fortitude against what feels like energy loss or drainage.  In its own right, Buddhist study is really intense for me, especially when I’m reading and getting all kinds of thoughts pinged off in my mind (which sometimes include two or three separate readings of the same passages).

Ah — and that’s one other thing I wanted to note:  Meditation, like the art, and like the writing, is a key, though it seems to be a key into well-being more than anything.

And!  How is it, exactly, that keys are made?  That was the other thought that came to me earlier, which I doubt I’m going to be able to answer in the next five minutes.

Record the feeling?

I’m thinking back to one of my first spirit contacts (that I remember as significant, anyway)…who told me not to worry about names or appearances when I might search for him; instead, feel again what I felt when he was here, and he will be here, again.  I…suppose this has been a long cycle of development, for me?  (What I’m talking about took place nearly 17 years ago — half of my life.)

Because it was so long ago, I’m not sure anymore that I do remember that feeling.  However — I have an archive of the stories I made with him in them, from when I was a kid.  🙂  It’s possible that reading those over again, may help.  And yes, I can see that my history of involvement with the arts and humanities has tended to scare me more than it probably should.  🙂  It sure would have been nice to have a writing professor and an interfaith mentor, when I was in high school…

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Haru ("Codey") is a third-year Master's student in Library and Information Science, hoping to find a way to fuse their desire to make the world a better place and to finance their art.

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