I’m fairly glad that this is turning out to look a bit more human, with the colors on it.
I haven’t even checked — I think this was originally due at the end of this upcoming week, but then the due date got pushed out a week.
When I’m starting out work on this, I majorly have to fight anxiety. I think the only way I actually got to work on it twice, today, was to consciously realize that I was avoiding it out of anxiety, and then opt to work on it instead of doing whatever else I’d do instead (sleep, or brush my teeth, were the other options).
The problem is that because of my medications (two of which are sedating), sleep is really an easy excuse to get out of doing almost any life activity. I didn’t even intend to fall asleep last night when I did; I just woke up at 4:30 AM to M telling me to turn off the lights. With my medication schedule the way it is, I just don’t have the energy to stay up late, anymore.
I also have a friend, leaving soon. I stayed home today with the intent to work on this…and have been uncertain about putting my work and school as higher priority than social engagements. Aside from the money issue (I’m using my own funds, now, and I’m not working much [two to three days out of the week], and I don’t make a lot to begin with)…I kind of feel like I’m doing all I can.
I don’t know how to put this idea; it’s either that I have a life that I didn’t know I had (which I think is more true than not), or I’m just trying not to fall behind, so I won’t feel bad about myself. And then, of course, there is the commitment to fostering the creativity and the need to make space for my art and writing…though wouldn’t I also need to make space for friends? But then, making space for friends means that I take time away from work, study, and art — the latter of which I have to watch out for avoiding, as it is.
P.S. So long as hardly anyone has read this post yet, I may as well mention that when I have to replace my acrylics, I’m really seriously considering (i.e. planning) on getting Soft Body acrylics instead of Heavy Body ones. The ones I’ve used above were mixed with a fairly copious amount of Glazing Medium, which is the best way I’ve found to make colors more spreadable. Without the Medium, I have to either thin my paints out with lots of water, or tolerate dry-brush effects (which I tend not to like). I can live with the impasto effect, but I really hate my paints to work like colored pencils.
I have yet to try out a Medium I bought which slows drying, but that’s next on my experiment list…I like working wet-into-wet. The only hassle then is making sure I have enough time for the paint to dry before transporting it anywhere…