So this is what I started out intending to write about in that last post. Apologies if anyone clicked on it before I saw that the headline was “Arboretum: Day 2” even though I was talking about Copic markers, and had to run back and fix the permalink.
Today was the second trip to the Arboretum. I think I did a bit better this day, though it was still kind of tough — even though I was using the Neocolor IIs and feeling like I was drawing more than painting. It’s difficult to capture something as intricate as a somewhat-natural environment (like with leaves and soil and water and things) in a drawing. Once the shadows and the landmarks are drawn in, it’s like what is between all of those things, you know? …which, in a painting, I kind of feel like it’s important to fill in.
And then there’s the entire thing about the experience of being out there in the sounds and smells, and the translation of that onto the paper, as well.
I should have some photos available tomorrow at the earliest — it’s really too late for me to be processing photos right now (though I suppose I can at least look at them).
Earlier tonight, I went out to dinner because a co-worker is leaving (to gain new experiences), and she was one of the people I worked most closely with. This was one of the rare times I was out doing something that was expressly part of my own life, and not my family’s.
I have also noticed that when I dress femininely, I get a lot more of a positive response from people (like the waiter at the restaurant, or the guy who fixed our leaky tire for free yesterday). It’s kind of funny. I’m considering widening my selection of skirts to wear to work, just with leggings under them so that nothing shows — I have a little bit of a belly now because of metabolic changes from my medications. It doesn’t show nearly as much with a skirt. 😛
I’m still not feeling fully safe at the home branch of my regular job, but unstable people shouldn’t be able to make it so that I feel like I have to avoid wearing what I want to, in order to escape their attention. If they’re going to be inappropriate, they should leave — I shouldn’t have to compensate for them.
One really good thing, though: I consulted with my doctor about being a little dissatisfied with my treatment plan. The plan now is for me to begin exercising and meditating again to stabilize my mood, so that I can reduce a medication which is sedating, so that I will have more energy and not need to be on the medication I’m taking to counteract the sedation (the latter medication is the one that’s causing the weight gain). I already know that both exercise and meditation help tons in relation to my having a stable mood. If I can chip these back in, I might be able to be a lot healthier and stronger without needing so much medicine.
I’m not planning to touch the third medication, as I know that it treats something that I have little chance of dealing with, myself; but the mood-targeting drug (the sedative) is one which can be supplemented with just a healthier lifestyle. And if I can reduce that med and compensate with mind-body activity, I can then take away the med which treats the side effects of the mood-targeting med, and that should stop the weight gain. That then will mean that I’ll be able to eat more freely again (right now I’m off of sugared beverages, except as a treat), and not have to worry as intently about the impending possibility of high blood sugar because of having gained weight.
I am so frikkin’ happy with this. So, so frikkin’ happy with this. My doctor was paying attention when I said I only “mostly” agreed with my treatment plan, and asked about what I’d change, and is supporting me in changing it. It’s really awesome.