Tired, but…

I haven’t written much over the past week because, I think, I’ve been too exhausted/angry/anxious/depressed.  I have another three days straight of work ahead, and am not looking forward to it.

It should be a little better this time because I declined to go to another family gathering…I declined because I’ve been seething over New Year’s for the past week, and didn’t want to go off on someone I know and hate.  I mean, it’s amazing how much I hate said person.  They’re basically racist/sexist/psychologically dirty/evil.  But I have to be around them if I want to see my extended family.  And I didn’t want to be forced to be around them and get in trouble because of forgetting that laws exist.

Last time I did this work schedule, I’d had three straight days of being with lots of people and then one quiet day and then three straight days of work.  That’s 6/7 days of being around lots of people, and last time I got off of this three-day-straight thing, I ended up sleeping 14 hours straight, the following night.  I have not been up before noon for the past 4 days.

On my off days, I intended to work on the reading I never did for Intro to Art History and to work on my big composition, but M had other plans — that is, chores.  Cue angry face.  But yesterday I was able to work on my big composition — this is adding colors to Bamboo, with what little daylight I had.  I feel bad about not having made and enforced the time to work on this, prior…I wanted to be much further along on this at this point than I am.  But I haven’t had so many daylight hours, and I shouldn’t work on coloring in the dark — the colors look different than in daylight.

I did end up making some design decisions which I didn’t expect, particularly where it comes to light and gradients — though, this is more like “color transitions” because I’m doing this on paper, not by computer.  I would have worked on it today, but it was overcast and cold.  The sun did eventually come out, but by that time, I was back under the covers and didn’t want to move.

Today I was able to begin the chapter on Baroque/Rococo art history that I never read.  I didn’t realize how much of that text is based around architecture.  In any case, I found my syllabus from 2008 tucked in at the beginning of the Baroque/Rococo chapter, so I’m guessing that this is where I stopped.  There are two prior chapters on the Renaissance which have familiar images, but I’m not sure I read the text…

And…I’ve realized that if I do take and complete the three classes I’ve signed up for in Spring, I only have four classes to go before I can complete an Art certificate.  There are other art classes given which don’t apply to the certificate…like Portraiture and the higher levels of Figure Drawing, Anatomy, Watercolor, the higher levels of Painting, etc.  But there will only be two more core courses I’d have to take, and then two more electives, before I’ve completed the certification.  That was kind of shocking to realize.  So then I started looking into the possibility of an MFA, though a book I picked up (essays by people with Masters’ degrees) says that Art MFAs aren’t wholly necessary.

What is necessary is practice.  The deal with me and the classes is that the structure helps.  But the question of whether I want to get deeply into more debt just for the structure…I’m doubting.  It seems like the Art certificate is a good foundation, but that I’d need much more experience actually making things before I’d really be ready to go out there as an Illustrator.  I just feel like there are ways of working which I wouldn’t come to on my own, which would make things much easier.  It’s this that I’d desire to learn in classes, but as someone on my feed said, it’s probably very possible to learn these things in alternative ways as well (e.g. online art tutorials).

I’ve just not so much been in this particular loop for very long.

Then there are the Multimedia classes, which seem useful, to a point.  Four classes in and I will have completed three small certifications, but again, that’s useless unless I practice.  I’m not too hot on having to get something like an iPad to illustrate with…but if I want to work in Comics, it would seem almost essential.

…and right now I’m tired.  I think I’ll go try and read, or go back to bed, or something…


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Haru ("Codey") is a third-year Master's student in Library and Information Science, hoping to find a way to fuse their desire to make the world a better place and to finance their art.

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