(Advance notice: apologies for this post being ill-placed in the Reader. I just really felt the need to mark Categories and Tags to reference the mental state and direction I’m facing, now. This post addresses life and career goals, getting college in line with them, and basically realizing how much I like what I’m doing now, and how I might get where I want to be, with an emphasis on what I can do now.)
I really should be going to bed about now, but I feel the need to post.
I was writing to my prof asking about office hours when I realized that I could see her more quickly by visiting during open Lab time. Then I checked and found out that one more slot had to be filled before the district would keep the Lab — and I found that tomorrow was the deadline to both add and drop without a “Withdraw” status. This class had been in development last semester and is experimental…I’d hate to see it go down and not be tried again because it needed just one more student. Besides, the other 19 students will also probably be really happy, too.
I’m kind of feeling a bit bad about having taken up so much of my prof’s time already — I signed up for her section, so basically I think she’ll be familiarized with my work and process. At least now, she’ll be getting paid a bit more for helping me.
I just kind of feel like I need the additional tutelage of the Lab, especially when I keep getting more serious about this stuff. And I’m loving having these three classes anyway — I guess you can say it gives me hope of a qualitatively better and freer/more creative life. The structure of having to get out on Mondays will probably also really help me stay out of bed and not waste my Mondays asleep.
My prof from last semester (the Department head) still hasn’t written me back with comments on my portfolio or self-evaluation, though she’s been meaning to. I loved her class, too — I met her back sometime around 2007 when I had her for Intro to Art History.
I talked with my current prof about the possibility of taking Special Projects with the Department head and instead of following a kind of make-your-own-curriculum path, joining in with her Beginning Drawing students and basically re-taking Beginning Drawing. Because the Beginning class I watched in progress last semester was very different than anything I’d done, and as the class is given as a basis for Animation (same as Figure Drawing), I feel like I need to brush up on or acquire skills I haven’t been directly taught, in order to be competent. She told me to consult with my prof from last semester, and that maybe we could work something out. That actually sounds really good; the class was very foundational in a way that showed me how much my own Beginning Drawing class had been lacking.
I was also able to alter the schedule I’d made…I’m now at 9 units, plus 19 hours at my job. I’ve stopped trying to figure in the complication of whether in-class lab counts as outside work…I have 8 units without the lab; that means to expect 16 hours of outside work. On the two days I have free afternoons, I have five hours each; three with daylight, two without. On Mondays, I will have four free hours in the morning if I don’t oversleep, and two after dark (though I did just realize I forgot to factor in lunchtime). That makes 16. If I need additional time for that one extra unit from the Lab, I can work on Sundays.
There’s also the possibility of working after dinner, but I probably won’t need to, especially since I have the three-hour lab on Mondays. But then, there is also the possibility that I will really want to work after dinner.
I had been talking with one of my co-workers a week or so ago. She was saying that she preferred full schedules. I can see what she means. It’s kind of interesting to keep busy all the time and only go to sleep at night. 🙂 I mean, I actually feel like I have a goal, now. And I actually feel like I’m being serious about a career, now. Probably the hardest part of this for me is going to be time management and motivation. I can see it going in a direction like my martial arts training, where I really love it while I’m doing it but have an inertia against doing it. But, you know, that’s probably really my disorder talking and not me, if it’s at all possible for my disorder to be separate from the person I am.
But yeah. ♥ I’m feeling pretty good.
What I need to do now, really, is get a handle on this sleep-pattern thing. I’ve got myself waking at either 7 or 8 AM most days of the week, and setting a bedtime of 10 PM. Should I keep to that, I’ll get more than enough sleep. The problem is getting to bed when I’m excited and happy and thoughts are swirling through my mind and I want to write and stay up longer. But then it becomes difficult to wake, and like today I end up running out of the house without having taken one of my medications because it causes acid reflux without food, and I have no time for breakfast.
But that’s easily remedied, right? Put a pill in your backpack, and take it at your first break. Easy.
And I do wonder if things are getting so much easier and clearer because of that med…