Visions of the future…

…plus some rather profound insights as to why I’d like several close friends as my “family,” but am iffy on a mate or child.

I’ve been doing some thinking — rather sporadically, really, but still thinking — about what I want my life to be like in the future.  I picked up a book which is really good for interdisciplinary types, called, You Majored in What? by Katharine Brooks.  I did the second exercise of the book on Thanksgiving night, and found, to my surprise, that major themes of my life showed up there.  Three of those themes, in no particular order, are:

  1. Creativity
  2. Spirituality
  3. Identity

Fourteen years ago, I realized that I had no idea who I was, so I set out to “find myself.”  That journey is still going on; in fact, I’m working on it right now.  What I find…really interesting is that all three of these factors interrelate — profoundly, in the sense that my spirituality influences my creativity and my identity, and my creativity influences my spirituality and identity.  Oddly enough, it seems that the factor of “identity” is now taking something of a back seat.  I do suppose that it’s taken up the majority of my last decade and a half, so I can give it a rest sometime, right?  😉

Today I went to a Christmas fair, and along the way I stopped to tinker with one of the guitars (a Classical guitar — nylon string), much to the chagrin of the guy who told me to “be careful” (I bumped a ukulele) and “take a seat.”  The guitar was $100, what could I say?  Of course, he probably thought I was 14 and didn’t have any money, but.

Anyhow, I was playing around with tuning one of the guitars and just listening to the sounds that came out of it.  (This would only have worked if the low E was accurate, which I assumed it was.)  I don’t really need a guitar — I have two steel-strings at my disposal — but I’ve wanted to take some actual for-real lessons with someone who knows what they’re doing, and learn Classical Guitar (including music reading) for a while, now.  This is especially as I’ve realized the connection for me between art and music.

When I get good enough at guitar, I start being able to write my own songs, just by playing around with notes and chords.  But I don’t have a great way to record this (other than tabulature — which I’ve used) and I was never taught a five-finger picking technique, or how to mute strings, which kind of makes things difficult when I’m picking out individual notes.

The reason I haven’t taken this back up again is that I just really don’t know if I have the time for it.  There’s that, and the fact that I don’t really have any great aims to become a musician (or the naivete to think I’ll be able to make it as one), so it can feel like a waste of resources — mostly, time and energy.  I even remember listening in on a web conversation once where one of the people who was practicing felt like it was more of a liability than something that would help them survive.  (Of course, that was one person.)  And I really do like practicing, but it requires commitment, and that’s difficult to continue when you don’t know what you’re doing and don’t know how to fix what’s wrong.

To become practiced and stay competent, and really reap the fruits of what I’m doing, daily — well — practice is required.  I probably do have the 30 minutes to spare each day, but again, I was taught this in high school by a teacher who wasn’t all that great, and so at this point, I’m really unprepared.  And also, add this on top of 30 minutes of drawing each day, when both can easily spill over into multiple hours of work…?

But anyway!  I say this to say that…I feel like what I really want from my life — what I really want is to fill my life with art, writing, and music.  I want to be employed in one of those fields, as well; just, doing what, I’m not sure of yet…though as “Diversity” did come up as one of my other Themes, it’s reasonable to say…well, maybe a teacher of music to neurodiverse people?  (If I didn’t have to speak so much, it would be easier.)

It also seems that none of these fields are really…financially stable choices.  I wouldn’t say that I don’t value money, because I do; because it enables me to stay alive while pursuing creative ventures.  But money isn’t the driving point of my life.

Other visions of the future?  Having a few close friends.  I don’t think I’d need a partner, if I had several good friends and adequate emotional intimacy; I’ve never really been good romantically, and I don’t even really know if I’m a sexual person, at this point.  I have felt desire/respect/”you=awesome”, but I’m not certain how far that goes, you know?  I can love people, but it’s not in a way that I think people really expect, or recognize, as love.

No kids, unless I’m the father (I don’t really want to be a primary source of love and care for a child, in the way a mother is expected to be…I’m just not sure it would be fair to the kid); the other thing is that I want to be able to have enough time and money to be creative, myself.

(And right now I’m reading back over this and realizing that not necessarily wanting a partner or child fits right in with my “not-very-social” orientation.)

The goal is to bring what is in me — what I experience — out.  There’s enough nurturing I’ll be having to do there.  And I suppose that if I weren’t going to have a child, influencing my society can also be had by participating in society, rather than raising my kid and expecting them to do it.

I’ve also realized that the most pressing reason for me to have taken a job at the Library is my own ethical foundation, however warped that is or not.  😉  Aside from that…and relationships I’ve developed, and the fact that it’s a relatively stable paycheck, and has flexible hours, there’s not much reason to stay there.  It’s just not connected to much anything else in my life.

Yes, books; but books can be had without the Library; and just because I like to read (when the reading is interesting, at least) — it allows me access to the world of human thought without actually having to interface with living people — it doesn’t mean I want to be a Librarian.  Librarians, in my system, need to be social.  I’m really not; at least, not so much that looking forward to dealing with the general public day after day for the rest of my life is a good thing.

I suppose it’s good that I developed that understanding without having gotten a Library Science Master’s, first.  And no, I don’t know why no one took it seriously when directing me to this field for employment.  I think one of my counselors mentioned that I’d have to deal with people, once, and I thought it would be OK because I’d never been in that situation before.  I didn’t realize that being a Public Librarian is a public service position and that if I did move higher to be the person in charge, I might need the skills of a Social Worker to be able to deal with all of it.

And right now I’m thinking of one of my personality tests; “Social” as an orientation is dead last.  Not even kidding.  I got like an 8 or 10 or something, there, where I got 40s and 50s in other categories.  I was also tested in a different system at a different time; my results indicated that I should not be coming into frequent contact with the general public.

I didn’t know until recently, though, that not only do I have traits that correspond with being on the autism spectrum, I am indeed on the autism spectrum.  This is in addition to everything else that’s going on.  I only found this out very recently, though; apparently, my parents had been told but I had not been.

This bit of information, though, makes it more apparent just why I have so many social difficulties, why I have such low social motivation, why I don’t like watching television, why I can deal with people on the job, but for much of the time don’t want to (at least not when they’re abusive or pushy or drunk or I’m dealing with politics — or when I’m anticipating any one of these).  I mean, who really wants to deal with that, right?  But I dislike dealing with it so much that I’ve dropped a former career goal because of it.  I might be mistaken, but I don’t imagine that most people are as avoidant of this as I am.

No — wait.  I actually dropped two career goals because of this.  I used to be a Sociology major, because I didn’t know how human relations worked, and I wanted to find out.  Then I realized that being in a Social Science meant having to be social, which is something that’s extremely difficult for me.  Like, no — I don’t want to stand at the bus stop and ask random people I don’t know to take my survey when it has no payoff for them at all.  No.

But it explained why I kept running across different people online who had Asperger’s and took likings to me, because they could understand my writing!  Like, “oh, hey — you mean I keep attracting people with Asperger’s because I have Asperger’s?”  I’m kind of wondering how many others in my physical life also deal with this.  There are at least two people I’ve met recently whom I suspect fall into this category — one outed themselves early on; the other is just socially awkward (and I suspect took my Communications class, like myself, with the hope of improving communication skills…which, at this point, I doubt will be an outcome for anyone).

I’m thinking at this point that maybe I should ask to have time off when the Interpersonal Communication group I know of runs…it’s not at an ideal time, but it’s possible I might be able to make it…

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I actually have something to write about, today :)

Alright!  I’m coming off of another marathon 5-hour workday where it comes to my Art homework.  I decided to skip the Black Friday sales today, and instead stay home and work on my drawings…in-between watching Tangled on TV.

Accordingly, Pregnant is now finished.  I’m just waiting for the makeshift fixative to dry.  I ended up doing this in colored pencil and charcoal — colored pencil because I needed subtle gradations of color and lack of solubility in water; charcoal because I needed a soft transition between a dense black and my Goddess’s body.

I ended up using an eraser guard and an old Clic Eraser to erase out the stars.  This can then be brightened with a white pencil (I used a white Derwent Drawing pencil, which works fine as long as the excess charcoal is cleared away).

The spatter technique, frankly, did not work.  I’m not entirely certain what went wrong, other than my paint being too viscous, maybe, or my grid (cross-stitch backing) having transitions between bar and space that were too smooth.  When I did this before, I used something more like a mesh window screen, stretched across a wooden frame, with a used toothbrush.  I don’t remember the texture of my paint, though.  This time, I got microscopic flecking (like sand flecks) rather than spattering.  It might be worth a try with soft-body acrylic in the future, but as far as the present stands, that drawing is done.

In addition, Knock is also mostly done — I just need to figure out what to do with my creature’s face and horns.  I kind of messed him up a little by trying to make his head symmetrical 😦 and it’s in pen, so…

…don’t do that next time, right?  😛

I also finished the background on Soul Mirror, which is pretty nice, although I’m not really loving the self-portrait part of that.  I think that if I do this in the future, though — I’m going to copy out my text with a fineliner onto watercolor paper, and then draw with watercolor on top of it, instead of using printouts.  Copy paper (at least the kind I’m using) seems too fragile not suited to my applications, and that then restricts my media (I can’t use paints or large amounts of water or water-based media [inks, water-based markers] on printer paper with standard toner).

I’m thinking maybe I’ll work on a more accurate self-portrait for my portfolio.  I started drawing one in class, the other day.  It’s kind of …strange how my self-image has changed over the course of this class.  I mean, it probably isn’t a bad thing, but it does strike me as…well, how can I say that in a way that doesn’t make it sound bad?  It strikes me like there’s something ethereal/transformative going on.

I suppose I can say that with the self-defense training I went through (which was women + transgender space), I did meet some people who were outside of the gender boundaries of those I’d met before.  That in itself was pretty awesome; I think it’s just that with each new encounter, my borders between groups are destabilized a bit more.  And so it’s like yes, I can be transgender or genderqueer and not change my name; or — yes, I can be transgender or genderqueer and not take hormones or get surgery.

When I draw myself now, I look much more male…which is odd if only for the reason that I’m not really trying for male, anymore, in any friggin’ way.  It just sort of happens.  I wear the clothes that I’m comfortable in, and act the way I do, and people are starting to see me again, as male — regardless of what bra I wear or if I shaved or how high my voice is.  The difference now is that I don’t ask for it.  And being accepted in that way is new to me.

It’s possible that with higher levels of transgender visibility, the possibility that I may be trans* male just occurs to some people whom it wouldn’t have occurred to, before.  With that, the barrier between myself and testosterone drops a little bit — as much of the reason I haven’t begun T is that I would then be irrevocably trans* male bodied, and in that case I have feared massive rejection, including loss of my job, and inability to get re-hired.  This is the entire reason I stayed out of the workforce for so long after college — I didn’t want to transition on-the-job, or have a female work history, if I was going to live as male, and I just couldn’t go through with it, then.

I suppose it doesn’t hurt that I kind of look more masculine now, as well.

One of the things I have learned, pretty solidly, is that I don’t have a simple gender, and that both this and my physical sex are kind of blurred.  This has become clearer now that I have the ability to stand apart to compare and contrast myself to transsexual men, as versus feeling absorption within the “transsexual” part of the transgender community.  When I was younger, I thought I might have been transgender (in the “transsexual” sense), but at this point I’m fairly clearly nonbinary (in the “genderfluid” sense).  The question is then what to do about that, if anything.

The more salient point for me, at least now, is why it has felt wrong to depict myself in my drawings in a skirt.  And there’s no question about that.  It feels entirely wrong, like I’m drawing someone else and trying to pass her off as myself.  I mean, I’m not a flighty faerie-like type, and I’ve found myself attempting to draw that and I’m like GOOD GOD WHY?

…I’m just not entirely certain what to make of this.  Probably I should stop trying to force answers so much and just get on drawing the newer self-portrait.  🙂

Thinking aloud about toxins…and gender presentation.

I don’t have a lot of time, and it’s been a while since I drew last (yesterday morning, it seems so long ago), so I’m thinking I’ll write.

I asked about this…for one of my images I wanted a “glow” effect fading out into black.  I realized this would be tough to do with watercolor…but easy to do with charcoal.  I’m really thinking of using compressed charcoal for the background of my Goddess painting, spattering Chinese White over it for stars, and then sealing it with fixative.

I will not be able to use Aqua Net with this, though; the Goddess herself is in watercolor.  Aqua Net has too much water in it; I’m afraid it will cause my colors to run.  However, the actual fixative we have is solvent-based.  Totally usable; just not a “workable fixative,” meaning I won’t be able to add to my image after it’s sealed.

I’m told I can go out into the garage and spray it, and it will be OK.  I’m taking this as my reintroduction to art-related toxins.  😛

Speaking of that, I went and got some of those mints today which are in the little tins, all because I just wanted the tin to put my charcoal pieces into.  So now I’m eating wintergreen mints…because I wanted wintergreen and not peppermint.  I’m not sure if the flavoring is artificially-produced methyl salicylate, or a substitute, but there are artificial flavors in these.  They kind of burn.

I did recall that kids will sometimes drink bottles of oil of wintergreen and suffer poisoning, but that’s with a very high amount of toxin (as in I don’t know how any kid would be able to stand that) and a small body.  I thought I’d heard of a use for oil of wintergreen within oil painting, but I can’t find any reference to it now — other than in transferring images.  I’ve also heard of Spike Lavender oil being used in oil painting, though I don’t know precisely what that use is, anymore.

The only reason I know that is that I picked up a bottle of Spike Lavender oil as a substitute for Lavender oil, and looked up its safety online after I got home.  At the apothecary, I liked the Spike Lavender’s scent a little better than the Lavender.  As versus regular Lavender, the Spike has camphor content (probably what I was attracted to; it’s sharper and harsher than true Lavender) which also causes it to be a good solvent.  Around that time I started getting problems with my eyes, though (a little too much tissue in the whites of my eyes, probably caused by irritation, and that possibly caused by burning incense and joss), which caused me to move the more potentially-dangerous oils away from the more frequently-inhabited part of the house.

I do still have synthetic Rose, Balsam Fir, and Vetiver.  I’d wanted to make my own perfumes, hence the Vetiver — but normally Vetiver (in the recipe I intended) would be mixed with Lavender, as Vetiver is a heavy oil which doesn’t evaporate easily.  This causes it to hold the scent to one’s skin, longer.

But then, of course…I can’t wear these to work, as it’s a scent-free space.  I’m hesitant to wear it to school as well, for the same reason — I don’t want to set off someone’s chemical sensitivities.

But hey, what am I really talking about?  I’ve been wearing masculine clothes with no scent and no jewelry and no makeup pretty consistently for the past month or so.  I need to start wearing earrings again if I want to keep my piercings, too.  I would wear the ones I’ve made, but they look a little out of place with the way I’ve been looking, recently.  And then, I’d just put in my steel rings and forget about it, but the smallest gauge I have in those is 18, I believe — and I need to start out with 20 or 22, unless I’m willing to deal with damage.

Maybe I’ll try the Rose, or Frankincense, tomorrow.  It’s been a long time since I’ve worn a scent.  It’s been a long time since I’ve worn makeup, too (more chemical toxicity concerns), but I was able to find a powder which was satisfactory…

Eh.  Gotta go.

List of items to finish (and buy) before 12-09-14

  • Written component | V
  • Rajas/Tamas | in process (coloring)
  • Indra’s Net | in process (coloring)
  • Pregnant (may require multiple tries [spatter?]) | V
  • Gate/Pond (Leap of Faith?) | (needs fixing)
  • Fractal | V
  • Soul Mirror | in process (almost done) | V
  • Knock | in process (to finish inking) | V
  • Wheel | V
  • Bamboo | V-

  • Map of an imaginary place (from last critique) |
  • OilBar drawing | x
  • Self-evaluation |
  • Paper on Shahzia Sikander (due 11/30/14?) | x
  • Digital photographs of portfolio ⇒ CD-R for teacher |
    To buy:
  • white gouache
  • black gouache (Pregnant, Gate/Pond/Leap of Faith)? or use Prang black
    (used charcoal instead)
  • 11″x14″ Hardbord panel
  • pale blue, violet Pitt B pens (2-3)
  • screen (for spatter)?

ID: FP: Project update: 11-24-14

Hi!

I haven’t posted so far today because I decided to spend my time drawing, as versus writing about drawing.  😉  It’s been a really productive day, even though I was busy this morning, so I couldn’t start on my project until the afternoon.  I now have three drawings done in a series, with the fourth one on my mind, and the main lines inked in on that.  I decided to put the watercolors aside for now and instead, work with pens.

I think pens are much less intimidating.  🙂  Plus, they can be used on lighter paper.  I also found that my printer’s ink is water-soluble, even though it doesn’t smudge under either Copic (alcohol) or Pitt inks.  I actually spent so much time working today that I got a pinched nerve or something in my neck, and so I decided to try a tabletop easel I got for Christmas, a while back.  I used a stool to sit on so I wouldn’t have to stand, and so right now my knees are bothering me.  (The floor is hard!)  I have a zafu under my feet right now to try and ease my ligaments.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the stool was just too low and so, with gravity, my thighs were pulling on my knees.

I also think that printing out a sheet to log when I’m working and for how long, is really super helpful.  Kind of like with this blog and Stats or Likes, I find that I want to block out chunks of time on the log to show myself that I am working on the project!  I think I’ve worked on it for five hours, today — unless I’m mistaken, longer than the time I blocked out on my calendar.  I finished “Soul Mirror,” “Fractal,” and “Wheel.”  The only one in that series left is Knock, which is looking pretty cute right about now.  🙂  It started out a bit sinister looking (a gargoyle-like door knocker), but I moved the eyes to the sides of the head to indicate gentleness, so now he just looks sweet.  🙂

I want to re-do Fractal if I get the chance.  It’s not really a fractal; more a geometric, repeating pattern.  I wanted it to look like a slice of a plant stem under a microscope.  What I didn’t do was fully attempt to think out the whole thing before I began, so there is a big open area which just happens to correspond with the area in which there is no text!

Next time, I want to pay more attention to the shapes I’m desiring to make out of these patterned circles and dots, so they look more cohesive when I’m done (even if they are not trying to be symmetrical).  And I need to let myself wander, and not try and make everything symmetrical.  The generational scale difference between each set of triangles was a big factor in my original concept, but that’s limited when trying to force symmetry.  I need to make one section at a time, and not force it, and not be hard on myself when I make something accidentally asymmetrical.

It kind of looks like crop circles.  🙂

I will need to pick up some white gouache, tomorrow — I was told that this plus a paintbrush will probably look better than white calligraphy ink on top of what will be a watercolor painting.  I’m also thinking of picking up a larger Hardbord panel, in case I find I need to work on the easel again and need a firm surface to draw on.

I am totally loving my little Hardbord panel!  It’s just a little small.  I’m really wanting to paint on the other one, too.  I got two of them that were about 8″x10″ or something — large enough to stretch tiny watercolor papers, but too small to fully support a piece of printer paper, which is what I’ve been drawing on all day today, words included.

Soul Mirror, I’m told, didn’t turn out as creepy as I feared.  This drawing has one of my spirits holding up a mirror to me, and I can see my life in the mirror, but I don’t know what the mirror is reflecting, if anything.  And it’s like I’m looking out of the mirror, onto the spirit world — like I’m living in a 2-D or “flat” reality and the real world is deeper than I can really conceptualize right now.

I’m probably going to have to ponder the meaning of that one…

So anyhow, that’s three down.  🙂  I wasn’t going to draw on my text again, but my teacher kind of assumed I’d do so, and then I was like, “Huh.  That’s not a bad idea.”

I’m really itching to get on coloring Indra’s Net.  I want to make the tower red and the mountains some shade of blue/purple (I totally forgot that if the tower is the highest point among snow-capped mountains, there would be snow on it), with the spiderweb and the jewels in white.  But maybe if these are heavenly mountains, there would be no snow?  Just guessing…

There are two more I want to make, one of which I mentioned in passing, and one of which I haven’t mentioned in final form at all.  One of them, I might as well call Pregnant, an updated View from Space.  The second is a figure hopping between rocks over a pond.  After that, I can see where I stand, and if nothing else, get to work on revising Fractal while I think.  I basically only have two weeks to work on this, so I’m thinking that this will be enough.  I don’t want to intimidate myself.

So tomorrow — white gouache for Indra’s Net, a larger Hardbord panel (to use with an easel, in case my neck goes out again), and the third thing — possibly some pale blue and violet tones in Pitt marker, for the background of Soul Mirror.

I’ll put the boring stuff (the enumeration of what drawings I’ve done and plan on finishing) in a separate post.  🙂

The last 56 hours

Ah, right!  I forgot to mention what happened over the past several days.  Last Thursday, as a combined section, my drawing class visited a local museum to look at drawings which had been pulled from the archives.  That was actually pretty cool — I mean, to see a Rembrandt that Rembrandt actually drew?!  Like physically had his hand on and drew?!  Pretty awesome.  We were supposed to stay longer, but one of our group had to get back to school for her next class, so we ended up having to leave maybe just after class would have ended.   I missed the class before Drawing, too.

In any case, I’m probably going to do my writeup on a drawing by Shahzia Sikander.  I was kind of magnetically drawn to it, as versus the other drawings in the exhibit.  I have to do a writeup on this, but I’m really not sure how well it will go, considering that I didn’t spend the 20 minutes studying the picture that was requested of me.

Photographs don’t really do this piece justice, either — I am not sure I have ever seen such a color mix between pale and intense!  I mean, she used tints that were very light in tone, and very intense in saturation.  So her pinks — in gouache — were pale and delicate, but also seemed to glow.  I’ve never seen that exact combination, before.

I did find a photograph of this piece online, and I also photographed it myself, but the thing was so tiny (and I had so left my camera at home, thinking that it would be confiscated) that it was hard to get a good photo.

That night, I went to the first meeting of a new group I’ve been invited to.  That was actually kind of nice, even though I had to weather a storm to get to it.

The next day, I was supposed to go visit another exhibit at another museum (optional), but I opted out of it, thinking that I’d work on my drawings instead.  I think I slept, instead.  I really don’t remember much of yesterday, but I know I got some of the readings for my other class out of the way.

And today, I’ve been at work all day.  I kind of feel bad for not having been able to do more, but I think I would be really wiped out/angry/getting sick at this point, had I done everything.

Annnd…right now I’ve got to go!

ID: FP: status update 11-22-14

I really haven’t been working too much on this homework assignment within the past two days.  As things stand right now, I’m pretty wiped out from work.  Or…I was, until I got in front of the computer.

Yesterday would have been ideal to work on my assignment, but I woke up to my mom telling my dad about how I needed to clean my room and do my laundry and etc., “but she’ll probably just want to draw.”  This got me to hide out in the bed for most of the day instead of cleaning my room, doing my laundry, or drawing.  I guess that’s one of the pitfalls of living with parents.  I know my mom is just stressed out about the money situation (I have a little bit of time until I’m paid, and that will tide us over until my dad is paid), but that doesn’t make it okay to blast me.  Especially when she’s blasting me over prioritizing my homework.  I mean, really.

I have had a number of ideas as to how to get myself more-started on this project, though.

I really need to be paying attention to my work habits as they are, not as I want them to be.  As things stand, the uneven bedtimes are really messing with my wake/sleep cycle.  This means that I may get home in the afternoon, want to get out of my dirty work clothes (understandable), and take a rest in the bed — which happens to last until dinnertime (not desired).  If I want to get work done in the afternoons, I can’t lie down just because I’m tired.  For one thing, this encourages my being tired at that time on the following days, as well.

It would even be better to surf online or write something here, or read something totally unrelated to school, you know?  I really shouldn’t let myself fall asleep so easily.  It wouldn’t be a big deal, but after dark I’m missing full-spectrum light, and that’s not ideal for mixing colors.

That said, drawing isn’t the first thing I want to do after I get home from work or school, most of the time.  I’d really much rather eat.  After that, I’d probably want to read — just not in the bed!  After that, I think I might be in a good enough space to maybe come back and look at this blog and the written half of the project, and then get to work.

I also need to log the time I’m putting into the project.  I haven’t been doing this, and accordingly I have no record of how much time I’m actually putting in, and when.  I think one of my past teachers did give me a spreadsheet page on which I could log my hours.  I have no idea where that one is, but I can easily make another.

That said, I think the written part of the project is right where it needs to be (I say, not having read over my last printed draft).  I think my philosophy approaching the project is also right where it needs to be.  I won’t be restating my text — I’ll be supplementing and adding to it.  Some things are best said in image, some in writing.  No need to repeat myself.

I wouldn’t have gotten that far without actually trying to draw out the sketches I made.  Seriously, it’s annoying.  When something’s already been said, and I’m putting a bunch of effort into an image to say the same thing, I wonder why I’m doing it (especially when the recipients will already have a written explanation), and it makes me not want to proceed with that image at all.

So right now I have rajas/tamas, Indra’s net, view from space, 5 elements (draft), fruit, fractal, and hopping over the pond, at least in mind.  (Plus soul mirror, though that one is so creepy that I’ve eschewed it for now.  It is one of the more powerful drawings, though.)  I’ve started on the first three.  I’m also thinking that studying my source material more may yield up other possibilities, that I haven’t thought of so much on my own.

At this point, maybe I should take a break from my cataloging and go read or something.  I found a book that I’d checked out from the library to be actually really informative, and I’m hoping to pick it up for real one of these days.  (…dirty library books discourage me from touching them, what can I say?)  I missed out at looking at the one I’d actually intended to read, though!